PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Saturday, October 17, 2015


I have posted a number of times about Martha. She has been at Gregory's table for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the last 20 months. She is always friendly, and an interesting conversationalist even if the conversations are made up or at times do not make sense. Often she is very insightful into a situation or will make an amazing "pronouncement" about life.

On the day I went back to clean out Gregory's room, I stopped by her room to see if she would understand that he had died. I kneeled down next to her wheelchair and said, "Martha, you know Gregory?" She said she didn't.

"He sat next to you at the lunch and dinner table."

"Oh, that dear boy, yes."

"Well, I am sad to let you know that he died."

"Oh, come to my room to see the new book I am reading. It is another detective story!"

So I left it at that assuming that Gregory's passing did not hit home with her and there was no need to pursue the matter further.

Fast forward to the Memorial Celebration at Lieberman. Staff helped three of the more aware residents join the party and a number of family members brought their mothers.

They were told that it was a memorial for Gregory who had died. When Martha saw the photograph of Gregory it hit her and she began to cry. I held her and we rocked.

"Oh my," she said through her tears, "Oh my. He was such a dear boy. I saw him at the church this morning. All laid out so beautiful, and resting. He looked like an angle." She sobbed, crying some more. "I told him to put his coat on that it was cold out. Why did they ever let him go out into the cold?" (All in her imagination.)

I assured her that Gregory was with God now (I find I've been using expressions like this for expediency) and we should be happy for him. She agreed and settled down to a glass of lemonade, some cake, a few pieces of fruit, and a handful of chocolates.

Martha is one of the people I will have to go back to Lieberman to visit.

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