Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Things have been going smoothly for a while so I should not complain or get upset when we hit yet another bump in the road. Gregory has been very alert, engaged, talkative (although mumblish,) happy, whistling, singing, laughing, eating well, generally enjoying himself.

But with this high level of awareness, he has gotten resistive again when he needs to be changed (i.e. new paper pants after a pee and/or poop.) His regular day RCA (Resident Care Associate) has left to pursue a career as a nurse and we wish her luck. But with change comes readjustment and reassignement.

So it is not clear why Gregory has been having a difficult time lately with being changed. Is it the new people helping him? Is it that their approach/demeanor is different than what he is used to? Is it that his "meds" are slowly becoming less effective? Is it that there are three of them helping him because he has been harder to handle? Is it because he hates being treated like a baby who has messed his pants (he still seems to hate having to pee and/or poop on himself?) Is it because he is frightened when he has to be hoisted by machine and moved to bed? Is it because he cannot take directions and therefore is unable to help the RCA's change him. Is it because he is a big boy, weights 180+, is strong when he wants to be, and is dead weight?

Unfortunately Gregory cannot tell us so we are trying to see if we can figure out how to help him be less resistive. First, Manny will join the RCAs in the process again as a calming, reassuring face. For a while Manny stopped assisting in this way. By required procedure he cannot use the machine and cannot be one of the two required people in the room. But he is a calming influence and I am hopeful that will help.

There is the possibility that we will need to tweet the Risperdal a tiny bit. It worked to help him maintain his "calm" when he was previously resistive and if we can do that without diminishing his energy, engagement, focus, etc than so be it. Lieberman nursing staff is always very careful when even mentioning drugs and I trust them in their decisions (although as Power of Health Attorney I have the final word and they are supportive and informative as they include me in the decision making process.)

But what do you do when someone like Gregory, who needs to be cleaned up at least two or three times a day makes that difficult. The RCAs have informed the head nurse that G seems to be more resistive and that they are afraid to take him on permanently (now that the previous helper is gone) because he is so difficult at times that they worry for their own health and hurting their backs.

I cannot blame the RCA's as I know how hard it is to move him around and to get him to do what you want him to do since he does not take directions even when one at a time and when simple and easy (in our minds) to complete.

So I am feeling a little worried, say that I know it will all work out well, but am a little scared anyway, know that Lieberman has Gregory's best interests, but need to make yet another decision on his behalf. I hope it doesn't come down to "To Drug or Not To Drug, That is the Question." But if we have to can we do it carefully, and minimally.

Have I rambled enough? Maybe this will help me get some sleep tonight!




 

Circular Thinking

I live my life in circles. Especially with so much time taken up by being responsible for two lives, my own and Gregory's.

The Morning Cycle: get up, let the cats out of the bathroom, drink coffee, help G toilet and shave, help G get dressed, start my computer, give G toast or juice to start, drink coffee, sit at my computer writing or maintaining our life, make breakfast for G, have toast myself, begin the day by noon.

The Day's Cycle: turn on the lights, raise the shades, brew the coffee, bring in the New York Times, spend the day, prepare dinner, clean up dinner, watch TV, read aloud, go to sleep.

The Cleaning Cycle: turn on the lights as I pick up old newspaper and put in recycle bin by door as I bring in the current newspaper and put on Gregory's table as I pick up my coffee and add the milk as I take it into the bedroom and place on the computer desk as I turn on the bathroom heat as I pick up the old cat food bowls as I bring them into the kitchen as I pick up the glue from the counter and return it to the TV room as I straighten the couch pillows as I take away last nights soda glass as I return it to the kitchen as I go by the hall closet and get the stick vacuum as I take it to the bedroom to pick up the sock lint on the carpet as I take it into the bathroom to vacuum up spilled (or kicked out) kitty litter as I return it to the closet as I reach into the washer and put the wet clothes into the dryer as I go into the bedroom to get the dirty clothes as I put them into the washer as I add soap to the machine as I go into the kitchen to add "soap" to the grocery list as I look through the coupons as I put them on the pocket table in the front hall as I pick up the mail and bring it into the bedroom as I open the mail and drink coffee as I put the opened envelopes into the garbage pail as i take the pail to the kitchen to empty it into recyle as I pick up the "yuck" garbage and take it into the bathroom to empty the kitty litter filled zip locks as I take the "yuck" and the recycled newspaper down the hall to the garbage room and I continue to cycle through the condo and through my day, picking up one thing, taking it to another place while picking up the next thing and taking it to the next place, and so on and so forth until everything is done and in its place.