Retro Normalcy

Besides keeping Gregory safe and happy, I feel my most important role as life partner and caregiver partner is to maintain, for both Gregory and myself, as much of a sense of normalcy as possible. That means daily routines, life skills, meals, entertainment, interactions, social relationships, sense of home, etc.

But I have come to realize that the "normalcy factor" shifts as quickly and as erratically as Gregory's Alzheimer's shifts. What was normal last week, yesterday, earlier today is not necessarily normal this week, today, now.

This realization adds a new understanding of my role and while it doesn't make it any easier, it does create a validity to the roller coaster of my emotions, difficulties of day to day interactions, and sometimes impossibility of providing for Gregory.

P.S. I have recently become Gregory's Bowel Movement Coach. I'll let you decide what that involves but lets just say that I hope it is only the very, very beginning of Gregory's incontinence. Coaching is much easier than changing the whole ball game of bath rooming.

What is a Life? A Countdown?

This poem was a result of last night's dream.

What is a Life Countdown?

4 - Order, Structure, Routine, Standards?

3 - Spontaneity, Playfulness, Randomness?

2 - Sorrow, Joy?

1 - Love?

0 - Beginning, Middle, and End!

The realization/perspective I gained from the dream is that when I try to box Gregory in (and sometimes I have to) he gets "into trouble." He gets frustrated. I get frustrated, angry, short (not all the time.)

If I was to do away with all (or as much of as possible) of the order, structure, routine, standards of our life ... perhaps Gregory would have an easier time of getting through his Alzheimer's/Dementia (or perhaps not.)

The dichotomy is that I need, as do most of us: Order, Structure, Routine, Standards. For the purpose of helping Gregory function as well as he can and to insure his safety and to reinforce his contentment ...  he too needs these to a varying degree.

But if I could redefine "the box" or let him "out of the box" more often and just function in "free flow" think of how nice his world would be (and maybe mine?)