In addition ...

In a previous post I discussed an interesting phenomenon in which Gregory is more comfortable at times to go to Ken, his companion, for help than he is to come to me.

In that post I had wanted to, but forgot to mention that it seems very much like when a child goes to one parent with a question, doesn't like the answer, and so goes to the other parent to see if they can get a different answer. That is probably the reason that eventually when the child asks the mother a question, she replies, "Go to your father," and when the child asks the father a question, he replies, "Go to your mother."

Another interesting thing happened when we were discussing my taking Gregory to the swimming pool after Ken leaves us. I have slowly been "dropping pins" about Ken's leaving for Vanderbilt to continue his studies in psychology so that when he finally has left, Gregory will have had a chance to deal with the leaving.

When I dropped the "pin" the other day, Gregory looked concerned, worried, frightened? I asked what was the matter. "You'll take me swimming?" he replied. "Oh."

"Yes. I'll help you begin and then while you swim I'll do the hot tub or something." Gregory's worried face continued. "Do you want me to be there while you swim?"

Both Gregory and Ken agreed that Greg swims alone once in the pool and doesn't need assistance. Finally, Gregory said (or stumbled,) "Well ... then ... you'll have to come and be there. And Ken will help." In other words, Gregory wanted Ken to show me what to do to help Gregory when he goes swimming. Ironic since I "trained" Ken on what to do for Gregory. I gently reminded him of this, said that we all three could go down a few times, and perhaps that would make the transition easier.

Gregory liked this. He did comment, "You did?" in response to my comment about having shown Ken the swimming procedures. Ken was very supportive and added, "Yep, Michael showed me and I'll show him back. I am sure there won't be any problem.


CLICK HERE to see previous post. Opens in a new window.

Ken the Kompanion

Haven't posted for a while. With Ken, Gregory's companion since last May and living with us since Easter, things have been going pretty well. As I have mentioned, both Gregory and I get along well with Ken and he, us.

If you missed them here are two BLOGS about the experience: It's Only Fair and Companion

Ken is easy to live with, allows us our privacy, and keeps his own. We also spend many dinners together and often times will just sit around the living room chatting. Gregory and I have learned a lot about the Japanese culture and Ken has heard a lot about the American as well as Gay cultures.

Ken has met many of our friends, has joined several parties that we have hosted, and has chatted with Roger, Scott, and Richard about their experience in Psychology as Ken will be starting his masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Vanderbilt University in September.

Ken and Gregory make a good team when cleaning up after meals. A few meals into Ken's tenure with us, I smilingly suggested, "You know ... it's ... only ... fair ..." And they both finished with, "that we clean up since you cooked.)

Among other support activities, Ken sets the table, takes out the trash and recycle, helps bring groceries from the car and even helps put them away. Often Ken will pick up a few things at the close by Whole Foods or return books to the library. He brings up the mail and when I need an extra hand fixing something around the condo, his are very able.

Gregory and Ken go swimming at the pool in the building two or three times a week, go for walks, go for haircuts and manicures, and spend time at Starbucks.

Today I am just home from a week in New Orleans. Gregory and Ken spend 24/7 together very successfully and I felt totally at ease with not being home. Periodically I would send them texts with added photos of what I was doing in NOLA. A day or two into my getaway, photos of what they were doing began showing up in their texts to me.

Following is a gallery of photos from Gregory's Great Adventure:

Gregory & Ken at the beach

Gregory out on the pier

At home with a sandwich and 

soup from "Pret-a-Mange"

Gregory in the swimming pool

Gregory at "San Germaine" with

a dinner crepe

Gregory at "San Germaine" with

a dessert crepe

Swimming

Gregory has always loved to swim. When we first moved to the Condo we were very excited that a L.A. Fitness Gym was in the building. In the beginning, G was able to manage getting to the club, managing the locker room and his gym bag, swimming and showering, and then getting back to the Condo. Most of last year he lost that ability so he did not get to swim as often as he would like. I think he was actually afraid of managing the process by himself more than actually not being able to.

Now that he has two companions, between Ben & Ken and I we can provide Gregory with more time in the swimming pool again. He is very excited about being able to swim again.

Here is the e-mail I sent Ben & Ken awaiting their agreement.

Dear Ben & Ken,

Hi. Next time I see you, please confirm that this will be OK with you.

I just cleared it with LA Fitness (downstairs in the building) that there will be no problem with your accompanying Gregory at the club when he goes swimming. You would NOT be able to work out but you WOULD be able to swim as well.

You will probably have to sign a waiver since you are not members of the club. My preference then is that if you swim or just sit by the side of the pool, you should have a swimsuit on. The club provides the towels.

Gregory loves to swim, the problem is his getting down there, managing his locker & lock, getting into his swim suit, showering is OK, getting dressed might need prompting, and then getting back to the condo. 

It would be great if you had a swim suit you could leave here and also a lock and anything you would need in the locker room like a hair brush or whatever you need personally. If you had a small bag to keep everything in it would make it easy to pop in the closet until your next visit. I will accompany the first time. Let me know if you have any questions.