Celebrating July Birthdays at Lieberman

I brought Gregory flowers for his "yet another birthday" celebration.

Gregory and Peaceful resting before the party.

BIRTHDAY PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN BY JAKE BLOOM

John had to leave before the group photograph. 

From top left: Ken, Jake, Patricia, Sheryl, Bernice, Victor, Larry, Gregory, Jan, Sharon, Cheryl, Kathleen, Michael 

I love that man so much.

  

That man loves me so much.

Gregory acknowledging his name when the birthdays were announced.

Clapping along to the music. 

A gift from Lieberman to Gregory

Sunflowers from Patricia and Ken, Kathleen & Vic and Sheryl & John brought chocolates, the others brought their gifts to Gregory's July 4th party. Thanks one and all!

Outside after the party enjoying the sun. 

Celebrating from Afar

Today is Gregory's birthday. He is a Fourth of July Baby. We celebrate him with days off from work, picnics, fireworks, and birthday cake. We celebrate him no less today than yesterday, just differently.

I baked two pans of Brownies with walnuts yesterday and will put them in the staff office today, one for each shift, in honor of his birthday.

Yesterday, with Gregory's help (or at least he watched as I worked and explained) I decorated the dining room by adding small American flags to the flower vases on each table. Manny poked one flag in the back of Gregory's chair.

I bought three mini-bund cakes; one for Gregory- chocolate chocolate chip, one for me - lemon, and one for Manny - marble choclate. We will put a candle in Gregory's, sing the birthday song (he usually sings along,) and see if he will blow it out (if not we will help.) Then we will pig out on the cakes. Maybe we'll cut them into thirds and share the flavors! We will add boxed milk (from Gregory's refrigerator) to the mix.

I will tell Gregory that I love him at least a dozen times. He may or may not respond.

"Gregory?"
"What?"
"I love you!"
"I know" or "OK" or "Yes" or "I love you" or a laugh or nothing
"You make me very happy!"
"I know" or "OK" or a laugh or nothing.

He may or may not give me a kiss when asked. Sometimes he will lean in towards me and give me the kiss. If he doesn't, I will lean in toward him, I go in carefully because recently my glasses were accidentally broken when he push me away.

One time he leaned in and gave me a kiss on the lips while putting his arm around me. He finished the kiss backing off a little, looked at me me and asked, "More?" and we leaned in for a second kiss. He backed off again and asked "Again?" and we leaned back in for a third kiss. It was magic. Another Momentary Monumental Magical Miracle!

Sometimes when we go through this routine I whisper and he whispers back! So whatever his response, the message gets delivered up to a dozen times depending on the length of our visit or what activities we are pursuing.

So it will be different, but none-the-less important to both Gregory and me and Manny, as we celebrate his July 4th birthday today.

Here are some photographs of the occasion:

Here is a video of the Birthday Song.

Happy Birthday Gregory

Tomorrow is Gregory's 67th birthday. He is a July 4th Baby!

Documentary Birthday Day 5

This footage was taken by the documentary crew at Lieberman as we celebrated with Gregory my 70th birthday. This interaction with Gregory is what I call one of our "Monumental Momentary Miracles." 

Sorry to say that Gregory has a bad cold and cough so he looks pretty out of it! You can hear the hoarseness in his voice. 

When he is tired or ill, his back posture and neck seem to give way. But as difficult as this may be to watch, I love being able to see it again on demand.

Comings and Goings

Happy Birthday Michael - 03/27/1945

Mom - RIP - 03/27/2010

Magliano's FIRST 70th Birthday Celebration

The first of many celebrations of my 70th birthday after the Lieberman Carnival at Maggiano's in Old Orchard Shopping Center:

Isaac, Jan, Whitney, Nick, Larry, Jake, Emily, Cheryl

Howard, Robert, John, Sharon, Michael, Sheryl, Kathleen, Vic

Delores, Michael, Sarah, Sheryl, Nancy, Pat, Rita

Lessons on the Tens

This is reprinted from a post in May 2013 (with additions) from my writer's blog: 

http://mhorvich.blogspot.com

I have brought it over to my Alzheimer's blog because Alzheimer's and Gregory my best friend, best love is still the biggest part of my life!

He will not be able to celebrate my 70th like he has the past decades but celebrate we will: hugs, kisses, singing, blowing out candles, eating cake. What more can I ask for? He is happy, content, and being well taken care of by me and many others!

😃 😃 😃

There does seem to be an unspoken age restriction. As I have gotten older, I have had to work harder to stay in the flow, so to speak, and to believe that I can accomplish whatever I put my mind to. Change becomes more difficult because one has more to loose (potentially) and with greater risk. One feels less resilient, less flexible, more attached to routine and habit. I watched this in my parents, thought them the fool, but have gradually seen the same in me.

But I have also calmed down, discovered and like who I am, have belief systems, have faith in my abilities to deal with the ups and downs of being alive.

I have shared this previously, but recently the topic came up again. I have added the 10's, 20',s and 30's in retrospect. My lessons in life, which came on the 10's are:

10: I hate school. I hate my classmates. I hate my parents. I hate my life. Men turn me on but I do not understand this (and there are no role models to help.)

20: When will puberty hit? I am still waiting. Who am I anyway? I do not know what I think, I do not know what I believe, I do not know who I am. I love college but hate studying and tests. I am still attracted to Men, there are very few role models, but I know how to hook up!

30: Finally graduated college, love teaching, love my life as an adult. Growing up late or mid-life crisis early. Quit teaching. Run away to Mexico. Work at discovering who I am. I am comfortable with my sexuality.

40: Life is linear. Some choices have to be left behind and there is no going back to those intersections. Your entire life is still ahead of you. Use it well!

50:  Life has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Most of your life is still ahead of you. Use it well!

60: In life, there is here and there is the here-after. So live for the here and try not to worry too much about the here-after. A lot of life is still ahead of you. Use it well!

70: Come back in 1.5 years to find out what I discover.

😃 😃 😃

And now as I approach my 70th birthday on March 27, 2015 here is my Life Lesson on the Tens for turing Seventy! I could be humorous and say the lesson is looking in the mirror and saying, "How in the FUCK did this happen?" but last night I did get an insight into my lesson for the 70'S.

HERE IT IS

70: If there are things you want to accomplish in life, it is now or never. No more "When I get to it." or "When other things are in place." or "Maybe someday." It is NOW or NEVER!

South Pacific

I am posting this again in case you missed it on my writer's blog: http://mhorvich.blogspot.com.

The reason to repost it is two-fold. 1) Gregory and I have been watching it non stop since last Sunday. It is his favorite DVD, perhaps for some of the same reasons presented below. and 2) It deals with my having seen it 67 years ago on my 13th birthday.

Last night Gregory and I watched South Pacific on our TV. The movie premiered in 1958 when I was13 years old. My memories of seeing that movie with my family are strongly etched.

Perhaps to celebrate my 13th birthday, or perhaps my Bar-Mitzvpah, my mom and dad took my sister and me downtown to see South Pacific. In those days one got dressed up to go downtown. The movie was at a large, fancy movie theater of which there were many downtown; like the Chicago Theater, the Oriental, the Woods.

Now a days, movies open without fan fair but  in those days the large movie companies premiered their releases in the downtown theaters, they were big events, and seats were reserved.

The movie left its lasting impression on my young mind for many reasons. I certainly was homosexual at 13 but not practicing. At that age also, I certainly did not understand what being "Gay" meant or what I was really feeling. Seeing all those naked men singing and dancing on the beaches of the South Pacific must have aroused me not only sexually but also intellectually and emotionally.

At that age I did not have ideas, or opinions, or beliefs, at least ones of which I was aware. I knew what my parents and teachers had taught me to think and believe and while I probably felt conflicted in those beliefs, the conflict was not yet approachable.

I had not yet seen or experienced the adventures of the world, had never been on my own, and while I was already dealing with issues of "independence," I had very little.

The romance of the South Pacific island affected me: lush jungle plants, beautiful water, sunsets, sandy beaches, island life.

The good looking sailors who apparently were enjoying themselves, sang and danced with each other in the same way that boys and girls danced at the parties I attended at school.

Even though the movie takes place on the island because of war, very little of the carnage of war was shown; only more good looking, half naked men enjoying themselves in the hospital wards.

When Lieutenant Cable arrived on the Island, I instantly fell in love with him. When he fell in love with Liat, the Polynesian girl, it was as if he had fallen in love with me. When he died, I was bereft and grieved for a time after the movie.

I had fallen in love with love. Until that movie I did not really understand what love was about. One did not see much "love" in ones parents at that age if only because during the 1950's adults did not overtly demonstrate or discuss the concept of love.

I assume that my parents loved each other but at the age of thirteen I did not see much evidence of their love, only bickering and fighting and conflict in their relationship.

In addition to Cable and Liat's love affair, that of Emile, the French Man and his relationship with Nellie, the American nurse, was more proof that love existed, even though not easily attained.

So in addition to the lovely afternoon, downtown at the rare occasion of seeing a movie with my family, I was initiated into the world of fantasy, pleasure, independence, sex, and love. My unrecognized homosexuality was titillated and most likely provided much masterbatory material. In all, a productive afternoon and one that remains vividly etched in my memory.

•  •  •

South Pacific is a 1958 American romantic musical film adaptation of the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical South Pacific, and based on James A. Michener's Tales of the South Pacific. The film, directed byJoshua Logan, starred Rossano Brazzi, Mitzi Gaynor, John Kerr and Ray Walston in the leading roles with Juanita Hall as Bloody Mary, the part that she had played in the original stage production.

As The 70th Birthday Approaches

The birthday itself will be understated and calm on March 27. My birthday has become a time to be more retrospective and pensive because of Gregory’s not being here with me like he used to, my mom’s passing on my birthday (which I still consider a blessing that she began her next journey on the day she started mine,) and the fact that I am turning 70 (dealing OK with that but still…)

The lead-up will be hectic and amazing with 1) the carnival at Lieberman and 2) the arrival of four students who will be staying with me at the condo (one of whom is the son of dear friends, John and Maureen) from Chapman University. 

The kids are enrolled in program called Community Voices, a documentary filmmaking course that partners students with various non-profit organizations across Orange County and culminates in a 10-15 minute documentary film. 

They are partnered with the Orange County Alzheimer's Association and Gregory and I will be the subject of their documentary with a focus less on the sorrow and more on the love that continues to sustain both of us.

Watch for photos on facebook and on the blog: http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com

Giving Instead of Receiving

My 70th birthday is coming up at the end of March and on the day I was going to lock the door, close the lights, and hide behind the sofa. Instead I decided that to celebrate my birthday I would plan and pay for a SPRING CARNIVAL for the residents living at The Lieberman Center.

I have been working with the Life Enrichment Department to orchestrate this what is going to be amazing event. Here is a map I created to support the proposal and a copy of the flyer they created which will be mailed to all of the Liberman families.

After the event, I will post photographs.

This Afternoon at Lieberman

Today July birthdays were celebrated at The Lieberman Center:

Gregory enjoying the performance

Clap along hands

Lieberman gave a flower to each July birthday person.

Rita, Delores, and Tracy gave Gregory dark chocolate.

Peaceful the bear enjoying the performance.

OOPS, started eating before photographing.

Gregory clapping along to a song. A major accomplishment!

Left to Right: Delores, Pat, Jan, Manny, Gregory, Vivian, Rita, Tracey, George, Libbe.

Performer Nancy giving Gregory a birthday hug.

One of the Liberman residents performing with his wife, son, and grandson.

A July 4th Happy Birthday

Celebrating Gregory's birthday at the Lieberman Center with care giver Manny and companion/friend Alaksh. Gregory turned 66 today and it was with mixed emotions that we partied. In the first photo Gregory is not unhappy, just unfocused. In the third photo you will see his smiling face.

I think he knew it was his birthday and when I sang the birthday song to him on arrival he cried and I cried and we hugged. Later when we lit the candle and all sang, he sang along. After a little coaching and demonstrating, he blew out the candle. (P.S. He also blew out the candle on my cake last March.)

Really bittersweet. Devistating if I think of the past. Wonderful, grateful, and blessed when I think only of the here and now!