Martha

I have posted a number of times about Martha. She has been at Gregory's table for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the last 20 months. She is always friendly, and an interesting conversationalist even if the conversations are made up or at times do not make sense. Often she is very insightful into a situation or will make an amazing "pronouncement" about life.

On the day I went back to clean out Gregory's room, I stopped by her room to see if she would understand that he had died. I kneeled down next to her wheelchair and said, "Martha, you know Gregory?" She said she didn't.

"He sat next to you at the lunch and dinner table."

"Oh, that dear boy, yes."

"Well, I am sad to let you know that he died."

"Oh, come to my room to see the new book I am reading. It is another detective story!"

So I left it at that assuming that Gregory's passing did not hit home with her and there was no need to pursue the matter further.

Fast forward to the Memorial Celebration at Lieberman. Staff helped three of the more aware residents join the party and a number of family members brought their mothers.

They were told that it was a memorial for Gregory who had died. When Martha saw the photograph of Gregory it hit her and she began to cry. I held her and we rocked.

"Oh my," she said through her tears, "Oh my. He was such a dear boy. I saw him at the church this morning. All laid out so beautiful, and resting. He looked like an angle." She sobbed, crying some more. "I told him to put his coat on that it was cold out. Why did they ever let him go out into the cold?" (All in her imagination.)

I assured her that Gregory was with God now (I find I've been using expressions like this for expediency) and we should be happy for him. She agreed and settled down to a glass of lemonade, some cake, a few pieces of fruit, and a handful of chocolates.

Martha is one of the people I will have to go back to Lieberman to visit.

Gregory's Memorial - Oct 11, 2015

Gregory's memorial celebration took place in the Community Room of our condo. More than 100 people attended and the energy level, conversation, sharing, reminiscing, et al caused the ceiling to raise up. 

People came and went, inside and outside, ate and noshed, coffee, hot tea, lemonade, ice tea, pastries overflowing and filling several tables.

People traveled from the neighborhood; Chicago as well as far north, west and south suburbs; Racine, WI; Ann Arbor, MI; Washington, D.C.; and Point Reyes Station CA. 

Groups represented Blood Family, Current Condo Family, Old Neighborhood Family, Jeromes Restaurant Family, Gay Family, Lieberman Family, The Lyric Opera of Chicago Family, La Casa Norte Chicago Family, my dentist, my yoga teacher/guru, my personal gym trainer, and probably a few others I apologize for not mentioning. 

These photos taken by myself, Ames Family, Manny, Skolnik Family, Halina, and others. More photos to come in a later post as taken by Jake. 

See below for a close up video of these photos of Gregory 

Manny, Robert, Naomi, and Howard: Lieberman Family

Michael, wearing his three strands of black pearls (plastic) and Manny with his proverbial sun glasses :-)

Reunion of Jerome's Restaurant Family

Some of our Gay Family

Good buddy Roger

Susan (in from California) joining guests on terrace.
Later it was full!

Michael with partners Kaye and Susan (from Ann Arbor, MI) Tracey and "my older aunt Delores"

Halina, our housekeeper of some twenty years ago, recently a caregiver for Gregory at Lieberman and again helping me keep the condo clean.  She used to be housekeeper for Danny and David as well

Sheryl, Larry, Halina, Michael, and God Daughter Whitney. Halina used to be housekeeper for their family as well.

Here is a video of the photographs of Gregory from toddler to today. It may take a little longer to load.

A Lesson For Gregory's Memorial

How is this for an appropriate lesson today from DailyOM, Gregory's Memorial at the condo. I am expecting between 10 and 500 people. Exaggerated but with an open invitation who knows? 

Cheryl & Larry are in charge of the food trays, Jan and Jake are in charge of the beverage and sweet table. Godchildren Whiteney and Isaac are in charge of the sign in table and everything else. 

I plan on just receiving condolences and love and loving in return.

October 11, 2015 Listen With Your Eyes Aries Daily HoroscopeIt may be easier for you to be attentive when communicating today. Being present to others could be the result of your desire to develop your listening skills by learning to give them your full attention. While it can be important to get your ideas across in your interactions, learning to listen with your eyes is a way to demonstrate that you are completely present with others. Perhaps today you can practice paying greater attention in your interactions by making an effort to not interrupt, interject, or add your opinions when talking to someone else. Since it can be so easy to think ahead and plan what you want to say, using your eyes to take in the emotional meaning of others’ words and also to focus our total attention on them could facilitate greater mindfulness in your interactions. Listening with our eyes helps us give our undivided attention when speaking with others. In many of our conversations we can easily get distracted and instead think ahead to how we will respond to what someone says, such as thinking of a story to show our empathy or an opinion to prove a point. Using our eyes to focus on another person means that we use more than just our ears to listen. Not only do they show we are fully present but our eyes allow us to sense emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects of our interaction. By enhancing your listening skills today, your interactions will become more attentive and full of greater awareness and empathy for others.