The other night, as I was drifting off to sleep, I realized that my life has no major concerns! "What do you mean by that?" you may ask. Isn't Gregory's Alzheimer's a major concern? Doesn't it cause me grief, sadness, depression, anxiety, frustration, not to speak of hard work 24/7/365?
Well yes, dealing with Alzheimer's is no easy task but when it comes to life, there are no major concerns. No career path to worry about. No college entrance exams. No papers due. No classroom lesson plans, no parent meetings, no report cards. No aging, ill parents to help. Financially we are doing OK. I have my health as does Gregory. I do not have any large projects that I am NOT looking forward to completing. Very few shoulds our oughts. No one is "on our case!"
Besides the 24/7 "caregiving," my life is fairly easy, simple. Monday's obligations: Metra downtown, lunch out, opera dress rehearsal, dinner, TV.
Tuesday's obligations: Walk the neighbor's dog, pick up lunch, take Gregory to Nancy's studio for an afternoon of painting, photo document his paintings to this point, dinner, TV.
Wednesday's obligations: Easy day, Shannon visits for coffee and cookies plus the usual.
Thursday: Dr. DeMuth for therapy plus the usual.
Friday: Ivanca cleans, Aaron Brady and Isla (the new baby) visit, Christmas Tree lighting ceremonies downtown Evanston.
Free open weekend, maybe the Botanic Garden.
Monday night: dinner downtown and Parsifal Opera night performance.
Through out the week: Besides the 24/7/365 craziness of Alzheimer's there is grocery shopping, keeping up with e-mails and bills, working on getting my second collection of poetry published, straightening around the house, doing the laundry, thinking about Christmas details, getting ready to visit G's family in Battle Creek for Thanksgiving, surfing the internet, keeping up with Facebook.
When I allow myself, some time is spent with worries like our future, Gregory's progression, the ever present health possibilities, getting hit by a bus. But for the most part I do not worry much. So see what I mean! No major concerns.
Showing posts with label Concerns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Concerns. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Companion
Gregory's companion Ken has moved in with us for three months. A while ago, he had mentioned that his lease was up in March, that he couldn't renew it because his building was doing some renovation, and that he was here for school until June. I asked him what he was going to do and he said he didn't know, he would have to find another apartment.
This caused my "opportunity light" to go on. I thought about the possibility of his moving in with us, discussed my idea with Gregory, and a few days later we presented our proposition to Ken. In exchange for a very little rent from him and more time available to be with Gregory, he could have our guest room and the guest bath as his own. We could also share meals when he was home and when I cooked.
The offer was made at two levels. One was altruistic because Ken was in need of something we could provide and we have come to like him a lot over the year that he has been Gregory's companion. Secondly it would provide me with what I have been calling, "The Nobel Experiment." How do I continue to provide for Gregory's needs as the demand increases and yet still maintain my sanity?
The idea of having someone live with us 24/7, the fact that the condo while comfortable is not huge, and with Gregory and I having to give up our guest/TV room, we had some hesitancies and concerns. Even with Ken's being excited about the idea and his accepting our offer, I am sure he had concerns as well.
The idea was to see what having "live in help" would be like. Most likely this is the future if I want Gregory to be able to stay at home for as long as possible. As his medical and personal needs increase the person will have to be more health care oriented but that is not necessary at this point. Also, I am healthy and able to take care of Gregory's needs and while I expect to stay healthy, it is always good to plan for all possibilities.
The transition has been very smooth and most of our worries unfounded, Ken is comfortably ensconced in the guest room and besides his being supportive as a companion to Gregory and providing me a friend I can actually communicate with, he has been an excellent, respectful long term "guest.
It has been nice having someone around to let me get out to play, to run errands, have a life of my own so I can be in a better place and more emotionally available to Gregory. Most of the time Gregory and I are together but Ken's being around has given me more opportunities for myself. He has also given Gregory company when I am at my computer running the household or writing or taking a nap.
Ken has provided me with a companion in many ways as I have someone to talk to and share complex ideas which Gregory is no longer able to do. Ken can give me feedback and helps make me feel less alone.
Another thing Ken has provided is putting me in a place of "wiser adult" and almost a parent figure as he asks for my advice, as I sometimes offer it on my own, and he seems to value what I have to offer. I know Gregory needs me, but the interaction and communication with Ken meets those needs on a different level.
Also, Ken has on his own taken over house hold responsibilities like emptying the dish washer, taking out the garbage, picking up groceries, helping me with condo maintenance. He has begun to give Gregory his breakfast and goes swimming with him.
So the only problem with this "Nobel Experiment" is that both Gregory and I are enjoying it very much but it will end in June. Will enjoy it now ... and worry about loosing Ken when that comes.
This caused my "opportunity light" to go on. I thought about the possibility of his moving in with us, discussed my idea with Gregory, and a few days later we presented our proposition to Ken. In exchange for a very little rent from him and more time available to be with Gregory, he could have our guest room and the guest bath as his own. We could also share meals when he was home and when I cooked.
The offer was made at two levels. One was altruistic because Ken was in need of something we could provide and we have come to like him a lot over the year that he has been Gregory's companion. Secondly it would provide me with what I have been calling, "The Nobel Experiment." How do I continue to provide for Gregory's needs as the demand increases and yet still maintain my sanity?
The idea of having someone live with us 24/7, the fact that the condo while comfortable is not huge, and with Gregory and I having to give up our guest/TV room, we had some hesitancies and concerns. Even with Ken's being excited about the idea and his accepting our offer, I am sure he had concerns as well.
The idea was to see what having "live in help" would be like. Most likely this is the future if I want Gregory to be able to stay at home for as long as possible. As his medical and personal needs increase the person will have to be more health care oriented but that is not necessary at this point. Also, I am healthy and able to take care of Gregory's needs and while I expect to stay healthy, it is always good to plan for all possibilities.
The transition has been very smooth and most of our worries unfounded, Ken is comfortably ensconced in the guest room and besides his being supportive as a companion to Gregory and providing me a friend I can actually communicate with, he has been an excellent, respectful long term "guest.
It has been nice having someone around to let me get out to play, to run errands, have a life of my own so I can be in a better place and more emotionally available to Gregory. Most of the time Gregory and I are together but Ken's being around has given me more opportunities for myself. He has also given Gregory company when I am at my computer running the household or writing or taking a nap.
Ken has provided me with a companion in many ways as I have someone to talk to and share complex ideas which Gregory is no longer able to do. Ken can give me feedback and helps make me feel less alone.
Another thing Ken has provided is putting me in a place of "wiser adult" and almost a parent figure as he asks for my advice, as I sometimes offer it on my own, and he seems to value what I have to offer. I know Gregory needs me, but the interaction and communication with Ken meets those needs on a different level.
Also, Ken has on his own taken over house hold responsibilities like emptying the dish washer, taking out the garbage, picking up groceries, helping me with condo maintenance. He has begun to give Gregory his breakfast and goes swimming with him.
So the only problem with this "Nobel Experiment" is that both Gregory and I are enjoying it very much but it will end in June. Will enjoy it now ... and worry about loosing Ken when that comes.
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