FOR GREGORY. He was not a VICTIM of ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, he was a HERO!

PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Showing posts with label Hallucinations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hallucinations. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Companion Report #2 by K.C.


It’s been approximately 12 months since I first met Greg and his symptoms seem to be gradually getting worse.  Below are some changes I’ve noticed in Greg, as well as things that still seem to remain the same.  I should note, however, that my observations are highly subjective.

Things that seem to have changed:

Greg’s capability of using words has declined slightly. Words do not come out as he wishes, and he frequently makes mistakes even when they do come out.  Sometimes, the word itself is correct, but it is not the right choice.  For example, when I went painting with him, he said “red” looking at “blue”, and this happened a number of times.  Other times, he struggles saying words.  For instance, he said  “pint, pinkle…” when he meant to say “pink”.  His struggle for words is not anything new, but it seems to me that the frequency has slightly increased. 

He needs more assistance in everyday life activities (getting dressed, preparing lunch, cleaning up, etc.).  He gets confused, disoriented, and even simple tasks can tire him out.

It seems like his hands shake more often than before.  This is especially noticeable when he is trying to bring food or drink to his mouth.

His dependence on me has increased.  This has to do with him needing more help, but also his feeling more comfortable around me.  For example, he might tell me “you do it!” when I’m trying to explain how to put on his scarf before we go out.

He might get tired more easily than before.  After we go for a walk, it seems like we always speak about how tired we are. 

Some routines he had little trouble with several months ago are getting more difficult for him.  I was surprised when he asked me to make his lunch for the first time.  He used to put together a nice salad for himself, but now it seems as though he lacks the confidence to do so.  However, I would suggest that his forgetfulness has not happened over night, and it seems to do with how long it has been since he last made lunch.  Apparently, it had been quite some time since he last made his salad, which may play a role in why he forgot how to do it.  

Things that seem to remain the same:

I have never noticed any changes in his personality.  He also does not have mood swings either, and he is still the same Greg that I know.

I have never noticed Greg hallucinating.  His sense of smell, sight, hearing, still remains the same.  Perhaps delusion is not the right word, but there are certain things Greg believes, which are unrealistic.  For example, he believes that Meryl Streep lives near by (I haven’t checked whether this is true or not, but seems unlikely).  I’ve heard this a number of times from Greg.

Memories from the distant past seem to remain pretty much the same. 

He can still sympathize and understand what others are feeling.  For example, when I was talking to Michael about how a package sent from Japan was stolen, Greg knew how upset I was and he sympathized appropriately.  

Although Greg sometimes forgets to flush the toilet, I’ve never helped him use the bathroom.  He goes to the bathroom when he wants, and he has never asked for help.

Although he doesn't remember people’s names, he still recognizes them. Occasionally, we bump into somebody we know—or somebody he knows, but he always recognizes them, which is a good sign.

We can still communicate even though he cannot express what he wants to say perfectly.

His walking speed has not changed, and he has no problem swimming.

I have not noticed any decline in his appetite, and he still eats quite a lot.

Although I do not know how much he understands what he reads in the newspaper, he still sits down and reads it.




Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Arising to Panic

We have gotten used to arising in panic.
Late hours of the night or wee hours of the morning.
"There. Look. What is that?"
"Nothing, you are just dreaming. Nothing to worry about. Go back to sleep."
"Are you sure. Are you sure."
"Yes, everything is OK," stroking his cheek, holding his hand.
We both settle down and fall back to sleep.

In the beginning these events used to disturb me and I could not get back to sleep. Now they have become expected and for some reason that makes them easier with which to deal.

Telling Gregory that "You're only dreaming" is easier and kinder than addressing the fact that he has begun to hallucinate. I am not sure what he is seeing, and to him it is real ... but I can be calm and assure him that everything is under control. He is able to trust me and fall back asleep.

There is the possibility that he wakes and is not able to separate his dream from reality. If this is the case we may not have hallucination but something none-the-less real for him. Again, calm support and comforting does the trick.

More difficult, but still now expected and therefore tolerable, is when he knocks an imaginary something off my sleeping shoulder bringing me fully awake quickly. Sometimes picking something out of my hair is either a service or an hallucination, but either way I react calmly.

To me it is the unexpected and unknown that freaks me out. Once I can rely on something, even if it isn't pretty, I can better deal with it. Once I can begin, at least, to understand what is happening or what might be going on in his mind, I can better deal with it.

A third aspect in better dealing is to not allow myself to worry about the future. I know it will get worse. I know the "rules" and "understandings" will change, but that is tomorrow. Tonight I'll just get back to sleep, holding my honey's hand, and sending him thoughts of love.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

25 Word Flash Non-Fiction: Midnight Adventure

Middle of the night. Shit! shit! shit! What is the matter? How did they get in, pointing at a pair of shoes in the corner.