This is the text of the death announcement I sent to family and friends via e-mail broadcast:

Dear Friends,

Sign of the times to use Facebook, Text, and E-Mail to let people know that a loved one has passed.

I hate it, but it does serve the purpose of sharing with you that Gregory died very peacefully last Sunday, October 4, after 12+ years of living with Dementia/Alzheimer’s and a very short illness.

If you are in town, and sorry for the short notice, there will be an open house to celebrate Gregory’s Passing at the condo this Sunday, October 11 from 2:00-5:00. We are at 807 Davis Street. Parking available in public parking attached to the building.

Gregory did not “suffer” with Alzheimer’s. That is really a very inappropriate description to use for anyone diagnosed with Dementia/Alzheimer’s. He LIVED and lived well … beyond the “diagnosis.” It was not always easy to do so, and at times we held on for dear life through our roller coaster ride. Although he slowly lost physical, cognitive, and mental abilities; we were able to compensate and be optimistic and happy and enjoy life together as well as share time with so many of you.

No matter how the illness progressed, Gregory was always fully present in Spirit and he continued to be loving, kind, gentle, patient, compassionate and easily spread love to everyone with whom he came in contact.

When I said my last goodbye to Gregory, after he had been in a coma for four days, I kissed him on his open mouth and he was able to close his lips and push back. He gave me a final kiss! There is magic in life … and there is magic in death. And I am doing well. Not sorry but rather happy. Sad, yes, but happy and centered and ready to re-discover again who I am alone, with Gregory now being my Guardian Angel.

He was NOT a “victim” of Alzheimer’s … He was a HERO!

Minor apologies if you already know of Gregory’s passing via a personal phone call. I tried to call as many people as my voice would hold up for. Or you may have found out via “technology” which is a little impersonal but none-the-less. And finally if my database is not as perfect as I would like it, you may have received several dozen e-mails :-)

A number of people have asked so here it is:

Contributions may be made to:

The More Than Ever Education Fund (MTE)

Created by Gregory Maire and Michael Horvich

and administrated by La Casa Norte,

a non-profit supporting homeless youth and families.

Make your check payable to La Casa Norte (MTE)

3533 West North Avenue, Chicago 60647

or donate online at lacasanorte.org

For more information feel free to e-mail or phone me.

A Very Special Thank You Note

Sol Flores, executive director of La Casa Norte, a support organization for Latino families and one with which Gregory and I have close ties, recently visited Gregory.

I received this note in the mail a few days later. You have no idea how much it meant to me. Thank you Sol!

Sol instinctually knew that Gregory exists, and matters. So many people forget the person and only see the disease!

More Than Ever Educational Foundation

This was also published on my blog

"michael a. horvich writes"

• • •

When Gregory and I established our Trust, shortly after receiving the diagnosis for Dementia/Alzheimer's, we called it the "More Than Ever Trust." The purpose of the trust was to put our personal and financial matters in order to protect both of us and especially to protect Gregory in the event that I died before him. He would need help and attention to continue even if I could only "watch over" him from elsewhere.

(Interesting in the above paragraph, I automatically called it "the diagnosis," almost changed it to "his diagnosis," then realized that it was really "our diagnosis." Perhaps that is what helped us (and me) weather the path which while often sunny and sprinkled with colorful flowers;  was often rainy, slick, muddy, dark, and frightening with lightening and thunder. Apt metaphors!)

The name, More Than Ever Trust" came from the expression Gregory and I used to symbolize the fact that even thought we were on a difficult, frightening, bumpy road and roller coaster ride, each day our love has continued to grow and we continue love each other more than ever. We could say "More Than Ever" each day and mean it when compared to the previous day!

One of Gregory and my fantasy desires has always been to do good for others. We would ask each other, "What would you do if you won the lottery and suddenly were a multi-millionaire?" Besides buying a few things for ourselves, possibly more travel, and a new car we always arrived at "Doing good for others."

How does one go about doing good for others? There are many ways to do this but for us we decided it meant giving a person a hand up in a way that would provide them with the skills to continue to stay up and perhaps to go higher. That meant giving a person the gift of an education when they could not afford to pay for it themselves.

So many people want to go back to school to finish their high school work, to get training, or to receive a degree for higher level studies. They want to get ahead with new skills, a better job, a more promising future but cannot afford it while trying to pay the rent, feed their kids, maintain a family, continue helping their parents, pay the tuition, whatever.

So Gregory and I talked about how wonderful it would be to be able to set up a foundation to help people do just this. At the time of our discussions we had enough obligations of our own that we could only now and then donate, or support good causes. Now that our lives have calmed down age wise, and need wise; and now that we are closer to the end than the beginning, we realized that when we are gone, we will be in a position to help others.

We decided, while Gregory still could, that besides remembering our family, nieces, nephews, and god-children in a token way when we are no longer living; our savings and insurance monies could go to fulfill this desire to help others get an education.

This will be part of our legacy and our contribution to the future. This will be our thank you to the countless, sometimes nameless others who have helped us during our lives. We have no children to support so (large thinking) the world becomes our children and our family.

As of August 1, 2015, Gregory and I have created the "More Than Ever Educational Foundation" which will do just that after we have died. We are overjoyed and I believe that Gregory is aware of this great accomplishment as well. (See the attached video.)

In addition, we have attached this foundation to supporting the work that Casa Norte has been doing since 2002 whose mission is to serve youth and families confronting homelessness and to provide access to stable housing and deliver comprehensive services that act as a catalyst to transform lives and communities. 

We have been involved with Casa Norte for over ten years; attending events and galas, making donations of clothing and household items to their "closet," giving photographs and jewelry created by Michael for their raffles and silent auctions, and more. When Gregory Maire Architect ltd shut its doors we gave desks, chairs, lamps, book cases, and an almost fully stocked kitchen to Casa Norte's first supportive living facility.

We love the people who run Casa Norte, with a special hug to Ms. Sol Flores, Executive Director, and admire their work. We are excited about being a greater part of the good work they do. Michael will continue to be actively involved now and in the future the memories of Gregory and Michael will help provide the gift of education to countless others ... our new family!

Gregory and Michael have been in a committed, life partner relationship for over 40 years. Gregory was diagnosed with Dementia/Alzheimer's Disease over 12 years ago.

Gregory is 67 and Michael is 70 years old.

The More Than Ever Trust and Education Foundation

When Gregory was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2004, he and I went to a lawyer who specializes in helping seniors with life planning and to set up trusts to insure that the rest of their lives could be well lived financially and medically.

Gregory divested all of his savings, investments, titles etc by giving them to me and I in turn gave them to the trust for which he acts as trustee. This maneuver helped Gregory qualify for Medicaid some ten years later.

Making these "end of life" decisions was not easy, but every time we left our lawyer's office we felt a sense of empowerment over being able to control some of our future. 

For example, for a while we struggled with deciding between burial and cremation but the decision became much easier when we realized that the issue was not burial vs cremation, but rather that we wanted to live, not to die. And since we cannot control that, the decision came easily. Cremation it is.

We had to name the trust and decided to choose a sound bite that we had been using since we received the diagnosis of Alzheimer's: I love you more than ever and our love will continue to grow as it has since the day we met!

So it became: The More Than Ever Trust FBO (for the benefit of)) Michael A. Horvich 1997. I will also act as the current trustee with provisions are made in the trust to take care of Gregory L. Maire in the event that I pre-decease him. 

The other day, I visited our lawyer again to make sure our "papers" were all in order and to set up La Casa Norte as recipient of some of our estate when we die to provide education / job training for candidates select by Casa Norte who through their community programs have proven themselves capable and serious about improving their life though education.

This is a video of my telling Gregory about the Educational Foundation. I think he understood and his engagement and amazement at the possibility of doing this is apparent.

We have been working with Casa Norte for many years via cash donations, attending events, donating Michael's photography and jewelry to auctions, giving many of Gregory's computers, desks, chairs, and lamps to their newly opened half-way house when he closed his business, sending outlived clothing to their Care Closet in which young men can choose clothing for job interviews (can you imagine how excited they would be when finding one of Gregory's expensive Armini suits or shirts and expensive shoes on the closet racks?) and giving food to their community pantry.

Casa Norte's mission is to serve youth and families confronting homelessness providing access to stable housing and deliver comprehensive services that act as a catalyst to transform lives and communities. So Casa Norte seemed to Gregory and I, the most logical place to lend our support and a "passing it forward" for been so fortunate to have lived the life and love Gregory and I shared.

This is a second video the shows Gregory's continued excitement about this decision which we had talked about many times in the past when he was more able to do so and his joy at our being able to do this.

Here are a few of the wonderful things Casa Norte is doing:

Housing

La Casa Norte follows a housing first model and offers a continuum of housing resources and opportunities to youth and families who are at-risk or experiencing homelessness throughout 43 different zip codes in Chicago.
Our programs include permanent, transitional, and emergency housing options that aim to support our clients as they work towards long-term stability and self-sufficiency.
We collaborate with a large network of property owners to increase housing stability and opportunities throughout the community.

Support Services

At La Casa Norte, we believe that both, housing and supportive services are critical to ending homelessness. Our programs include life-skills and technology training, education support, employment-readiness, case management, therapy, food, clothing, and transportation assistance.
Our efforts to collaborate with an extensive network of human service organizations allow us to offer additional resources to our clients. Through the support of our partners, we are also able to offer clients access to mental health and substance abuse treatment, medical care, day care, legal advocacy and other needed assistance to support their increased housing and economic stability.

When Giving Away Clothes of the Departed

I have spent the last two days organizing the master bedroom closet and sorting through Gregory's clothes. Most of them he will no longer use as he wears sweats, long sleeve "T" shirts, and sandal type shoes all of the time. He has no need for more than one winter coat and probably won't use the one he has.

Sweaters are out of the question as he needs to have his top changed several times a day when they clean up what we will generously call his "bathroom accidents" which are now his standard way of processing his waste. Also, Lieberman like most care homes is usually over heated. I have learned to wear less when I visit.

Overcoats, top coats, his tuxedo, many pairs of shoes, gloves, scarves, earmuffs are all fair game for the give-away pile. I know that Gregory is not dead, but this part of what I must do sure feels like it.

I have kept a number of his plaid button up shirts and he will be able to use them in the cold months. But most of the other stuff no longer has a purpose to serve.

While doing this is necessary, and while in no way am I of the type to hold on to his clothes for sentimental value (I didn't smell his shirts once like they do in the movies,) it does remind me of the finality of our situation. And that hurts.

All of his "stuff" will live on through Casa Norte, a support service organization that helps young Latino men trying to shake jail, drugs, gangs, crime, etc.

Ironically I picture one of these good looking young men being very excited about discovering one of Gregory's beautiful, in perfect condition, expensive Armani shirts in the Case Norte Help Yourself Closet. That makes me feel better.

We have brought our outlived clothing to Casa Norte many times before and Gregory and I always enjoyed knowing they would be used with love, as they were given with love.

So while I will not talk about this with Gregory, I know he would love the idea and if he could talk back, he would say in his limited use of words fashion, "Fine!"