Gregory

Gregory is not feeling well today. Bad cold, fever, cough. He has slept most of the day and has been unable to eat or drink because he is so sleepy and therefore unable to swallow. He is unresponsive but I spent a long time talking to him anyway and kissing his face and holding his hand. I am grateful that he is resting comfortably.

Manny has been sitting with him, holding Gregory's hand, cooing and petting him. Swabs help keep Gregory's mouth moist. If Gregory wakes up we will try juices. I visited for a couple hours, left for a couple more, then returned.

Emotions are close to the surface as Gregory enters the possible beginning of the end. If this congestion/ cough and fever turns into pneumonia, it could take him. I have decided (as Gregory and I discussed life/ death issues when he was able) by extension that we will not administer antibiotics.

If he is able to survive this bout, it means he is not ready to leave us. If he does leave us, I see it as his decision that he is ready. We have been through this before, last winter, but this time it surprised me anyway.

He and I discussed this last time he was ill and today we had our "Birds and the Bee's" talk again. Although this time, I do not know if he heard me or not.
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Meanwhile everyone involved will do what we can to help Gregory be comfortable and he continues to be loved (by all who come in contact with him,) safe, and well taken care of.

The Lieberman medical team are on top of his needs, the nurse manager and floor nurses checked in with me, his hospice nurse visited twice today, I got a call from the hospice social worker, and his Lieberman social worker dropped in several times today. Even Marti who used to be his nurse dropped by as did our activities director and some visitors from the life enrichment team. The floor nurses and his CNAs will check on him every hour or so.

Time will tell. I will keep you up to date. Boy I love that man!

Hospice Care

Gregory has a bad cough and cold again. It is the third in less than three months. His special care nurse called yesterday to let me know that she thought it was moving towards Pneumonia in his right lung.

This is often common in people with advanced dementia because they begin to forget how to swallow strongly at meal time and can aspirate (accidentally drawing material from the stomach or throat into the lungs) which can lead to Pneumonia. 

I will be meeting with the Hospice nurse at 4:00 this afternoon to activate Hospice Care for him. It is a pre-emptive move to make sure he will be comfortable should his illness get worse.

Hospice Care is not a death sentence and does not mean that the person will die soon, just that there is the possibility of needing specialized, more intense nursing care in case the illness does move towards death.

You have heard me talk about not wanting to inadvertently prolong Gregory's life, we both had talked about this when he was still able to do so, and therefore I have decided not to have his doctor administer antibiotics.

In the case of Pneumonia, this could lead to death. So my stand is that Gregory will decide (be able to get over) this latest round of illness by himself (as we keep him comfortable) or he will decide to (euphemistically) "go home."

Of course I will miss him and our daily, although narrow visits. I will be devastated by his death. But my decisions are made with love and only with Gregory's well being in mind and as I said we both agreed on these actions previously, not only for him but also if the decisions were being made for me about my health.

Of course I can intellectually discuss these issues here but with an emotionally heavy, sad heart. I'll keep you up to date as I know more.