Needs

12:00. In bed. White noise on. Cats settled in. Drifting off to sleep.

I engage my angels, spirit guides, ancestors, heavenly teachers, animal spirit guides, celestial masters, "Keep an eye on Gregory. Keep an eye on me so I can be there for him and help meet his needs."

Then an awareness. This is what I try so hard to do. Since Gregory can no longer express let alone meet his own needs, it is my responsibility through my love for him, to make as sure as I can that his needs are met and that he has no reason to need.

When all your needs are met, you can be at peace, not having to worry about them, or formulate what they are, or figure out what they might be, or seek to meet them. After living with and loving this man for over forty years, I am usually on target when thinking about what his needs are or might be. 

The nursing staff and CNAs at Lieberman are usually on top of the game of meeting Gregory's health needs. Often I will go to the nurse with a question and she will already have been on it. They are quick to run tests to rule out things like infection, out of balance dilantin, etc and quickly get the results and report back to me. When I inquire about something I think needs attention, they are always on the ready to support me in helping to make sure Gregory's needs are met.

The people with his hospice, Northwest, are so present to help, identify, inquire, inform, and help instigate necessary change. Keeping Gregory healthy is so important, especially because often the only way to tell that Gregory's health is out of balance is by our observations. Then the treasure hunt begins but so far the hunt is always easily won and Gregory feels better.

Manny, Gregory's private care helper (to whom I attribute "Sainthood" or "Hightly Placed Angelhood") is also always attentive to making sure Gregory is comfortable, content, not hungry, well hydrated, happy, and most of all safe!

Of course it seems like many of Gregory's needs are no longer important to him like going to work every morning, reading the newspaper, taking care of anyone other than himself, planning his day, making decisions, worrying about the future.

He doesn't have to worry about earning a living, cooking a meal, taking a bath, getting himself dressed, shaving, or doing the laundry. He doesn't have to make his bed, clean his room, dust, grocery shop, or take out the garbage. He doesn't have to remember important dates or be anywhere on a certain day, on time.

So we make sure he is not hungry, is comfortable in his wheel chair, is clean and dry. We make sure his skin is soft, that he does not itch, that he is not in pain, that he is not uncomfortable. We make sure his is cleanly shaved, nicely dressed, and feeling fresh. We make sure he is not too cold or too warm but rather, as Goldilocks, "Just right!" We keep his room orderly, with familiar objects, with fresh flowers, and scented with lavender. 

Throughout the day we offer treats of chocolate, pretzels, bread sticks, rice pudding, cold juice, milk, apple sauce, etc. Now and then we bring in food that the facility does not offer like fresh cherries (pitted of course,) an home made peach pie, fresh figs, a chocolate bundt cake from the bakery. I plan to but have yet, "ordered out" so he can have some of his old favorites like Pizza, Chinese, Greek, etc. I did bring in Sushi the other day and he seemed in heaven!

I think that between Lieberman, Midwest Hospice, Manny, and myself; we keep Gregory's needs met and I think that he would agree if he could!

Teepa Snow on Dementia/Alzheimer's

I have seen one of Teepa’s presentations on video previously. Because of Susan's links I just watched 4 more and will finish the rest tomorrow. I am amazed at how much better I would have done with Gregory if I had seen these 5-10 years ago (if I would have been ready to listen that is. Sometimes hindsight is easy.)

I am amazed at how to the point Teepa is, how practical, how “right on!” While Dementia/Alzheimer’s is never easy, she shows that it doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it for ourselves as caregivers and loved ones of people with Dementia/Alzheimer’s!

Thanks so much Susan, Susan Macaulay, Amazing Susan for sharing this!

http://myalzheimersstory.com/2015/06/09/10-teepa-snow-videos-on-dementia-basics/#respond

A Guidance System

Emotions are your guidance system, not the cause your problems. Emotions are the response to what is happening in your life. They are an indication of what you are experiencing. Like a thermometer tells you the temperature in a room, your emotions tell you about the state of your life. Therefore, emotions are a good thing that can guide you to making your life what you want it to be.

Usually one hears about guidance systems when referring to airplanes or missiles. With airplanes, the guidance system helps make sure you will safely reach your vacation destination. In shooting a missile, the guidance system helps make sure the missile hits its destination doing the desired damage.

With emotions, the guidance system tells you whether what you are experiencing is making you happy or sad, is right or wrong, is good or bad. So if you are angry or depressed or sad, that is not the problem. That is the measure of your problem. 

To make changes, you must dig deeper than your emotions (or maybe you already have) to find the cause of your anger, your depression, your sadness. It is easy to say, "I am depressed" and to leave it there, being depressed. It is as if labeling the emotion is enough. However, when used as a guidance system, your emotions help you to be armed with a better understanding of the current state of affairs of your life and you can begin to deal with the cause, to correct it if you can. 

As you make these changes, you will feel your emotional barometer change. Most situations can be changed, if not by yourself then with the help of a family member, a friend, or a trained professional. In those situations that cannot be changed, your thinking can be. While it may seem difficult to impossible, one does have that choice and that ability. 

I believe that each one of us is creating for ourselves a life that reflects how we think about things, how we see things, whether we are optimistic or pessimistic. We must remember that our emotions are only the measure your life not the cause. 

If your emotions are telling you that you are happy and that your life is good, keep up the good work. If your emotions are telling you that you are sad, unhappy, lonely, frightened, depressed, etc, then think about how to begin the process of change.

On a day to day basis, you can alter your emotions by how you think about things. If the person in line at the grocery store in front of you is giving the checker a hard time and holding up the line, it is not necessarily about you and your anger at having to wait or your disgust with the woman's rudeness.

Maybe the person can barely afford her groceries, maybe her husband is dying of cancer, maybe she just got a call that her child was in trouble again at school. If you can begin to look at the "maybes," chances are you will not be as angry with this stranger who is holding up the line as you were. Often, a person's problems are invisible, so don't take them for granted.

Even with something as severe as the diagnosis of an incurable disease; a person can change their thinking. He can spend all the time left being depressed, down, and sad or he can make the best of the time left, do those things he has been postponing, make sure he tells those who matter that he loves them, look at those parts of his life for which he should be grateful. He can live life as well as he can, while he can.

While some sayings are trite, like ...  you can change if you want to, it is all in how you think about it, if you change your attitude you can change your life  ...  they are true. Try it, you'll be surprised.