FOR GREGORY. He was not a VICTIM of ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, he was a HERO!
PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Click here to read Kate's post on grief.
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May the outpouring of love in the comments of your blog and mine added patch part of the hole of your grief. You put into words so articulately, so eloquently, so beautifully what I have been trying to write about for the last eleven years with Gregory and my journey through Dementia/Alzheimer's. (http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com) But your words are from your side of Dementia, not someone looking in and that makes them even more powerful and more profound! I too find that writing helps heal. But your hole of grief is also a sacred one that you are entitled to, no one can or should try to take that away or pretend that it doesn't matter or exist. You and it should be respected, be supported, be loved as you walk through it to the side of acceptance and peace. Acceptance and peace will arrive. You are fast becoming a large part of my life and I send you supportive energies.
Monday, June 29, 2015
Oh Kate. My heart aches with you and for me as I remember Gregory's losses with music. He was close to a concert pianist with pieces like Ballad #43 from Chopin. This is an athletic piece, with the likes of Horowitz playing as an encore. It took G only five years to master this piece and I enjoyed every note (and clunker) lying on the sofa nearby. When we sold the grand piano that adorned and filled our living room, I cried, Gregory remarked "At least I can still listen to my CDs and have more music than I know what to do with."
And music continues to be such an important part of his (our) life. It brings him peace and at times tears of beauty. He can no longer play and no longer knows his Bach from his Beethoven but he is happy and enjoys his music so much. We hold hands and listen to Chopin (among others) and do not need words. Other times he loves being "under his headphones" and disappearing into the music.
As for your husband, be grateful but do not be sorry for him. It is your path but he has, from his heart, chosen to walk it with you. If that is not what love is all about than I do not know love. I am sure he would have it no other way! It is what he must do. In a joyful way "carried on the shoulders of sorrow," you are allowing him to do what he must!
I am sure none of us would have ordered it this way but we do have the choice: lie down and die or hunker down and keep going the best we can! Not really knowing you as a dear friend, I none the less can honestly say, "Kate, I love you and send you positive, healing emerges every day!"
I have always been "tidy" but with Gregory's needs, I found that by keeping things super organized his life was a bit easier and a bit more predictable for him. "A place for everything and everything in its place."
For me it allowed me to "control those things I can control since there are so many things in our life I cannot!"
Not one to diminish Dementia/Alzheimers, but one to try keeping an ongoing positive attitude, there are many gifts that the disease brings with it. Since one cannot stem the tide at least one can try to see the sun shinning.
Also, not to diminish the journey ... it is still a long road to full inclusion for people with dementia, of color, the gay community, immigrants, those marginalized by society, etc. Why oh why is so much time and energy and money and sadness spent on something that could if solved in a moment with ignorance and intolerance lifted if people could just realize we are all one, all the same, all need love?
Click here to see Kate's post. Opens in a new window.