Reality Check

Hey, I woke up this morning. I can see. I can hear. I can smell. I can taste. I can touch. I can get up early and make coffee. Before JRC I can drive to McDonalds so we can have a fast breakfast of Egg McMuffins. I can drive to JRC, a Jewish Temple in Evanston to attend Sabbath services and to witness our friend Jan's first ever reading of the Torah as part of those services.

I can take a nap with both kitties joining me: one purring in my groin, the other draped across my neck and face. (P.S. The kitties are in favor again. Perhaps my niece Colleen's support helped me to look at them with new eyes.)

I can talk on the phone with a close friend John about life, love, Alz, God, religion, Judaism vs Catholicism, opera, kitties, art, creativity, and more.

I can look forward to some kind of dinner and then a movie on NETFLIX. I can look forward to a good night's sleep and to an empty day tomorrow, waiting to be filled - both the day and me.

So if my last few posts have given you impression that I am "in trouble," you were correct. But if you know me well enough, you also know that I recover pretty easily and pretty quickly. My psychic said, "You are resiliant!" She didn't know how right on she was ... or did she?

This was one of today's prayers at JRC. Fitting! A huge list of temple members who are ill was read.

Next, the Kaddish was said for a HUGE list of JRC members or family who have passed away.

Puts a proper perspective on life and the living, doesn't it? P.S. Sometimes "complete healing of body and soul" might mean not in this life as we know it. But none the less healing and peace.

Flummoxed

Have I used this word previously? It sounds strong, doesn't it. And that is why I used it! Other possibilities do not serve as well: perplex, puzzle, bewilder, mystify, bemuse, confuse, confound, faze, stump, fox, discombobulate. I prefer flummoxed. It sounds kind of like "brutally beat up!"


This evening, Gregory and I went to the movies to see "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" in which a group of strangers, British retirees (Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Bill Nighy) decide to "outsource" their retirement to exotic -- and less expensive -- India. Lured by advertisements for the newly restored Marigold Hotel, and imagining a life of leisure in lush surroundings, they arrive to find that the Marigold is actually a shell of its former self. Though their new home is not quite what they had imagined, the retirees find that life and love can begin again when they let go of their pasts.


The movie was funny and moving as well. In some ways I hated being in the audience as an "old person" watching a movie about "old people." But it was inspiring and it would be nice to run away from my problems in Evanston and begin a new life adventure in India, even at 67! We left the movie with tears in eye and feeling a little overwhelmed by the beauty of the plot.


So here is the flummoxed part of the story. We arrived home from the movie at "Coffee Time." I prepared mine and announced to Gregory that it was "Coffee Time." He noted that. 


I showed him that I was putting some special newly purchased bakery cookies on a plate for him. He acknowledged that. 


I placed a mug near the coffee pot for him saying, "Here's your coffee mug." He registered that.


"You are doing almost everything for me!" he commented.


"No, you have to make your own coffee." I laughed.


"OK, I will."


I took my coffee and went to my computer to check e-mails etc. When I brought my empty coffee mug back into the kitchen, I saw the acknowledged cookies still sitting on the counter next to the empty registered coffee mug. Apparently I had lost him at the noted "Coffee Time" part. He got a himself a mug from the cabinet, prepared his coffee, collected his usual cookies from the drawer and proceeded to have "Coffee Time."


I know it is a little thing but I thought we had had a conversation. I was flummoxed at how it turned out, or at how it didn't. It made me feel invisible and unheard and old.

Iron Lady Continued

Chatted with G after dinner about "The Iron Lady" but not really sure he realized until I mentioned it that Margaret Thatcher has Alzheimer's Disease. The movie, however, really affected him. (I think the movie and Ms. Streep did a really good job of portraying what it is like to live with the BIG A.)

In the past (B.A. = Before Alzheimer's) when he got really involved in a "heavy" movie he would be distracted and "lost in it" for a while after (hours at least.) This time his distraction via Alzheimer's showed up during dinner when he didn't know how to cut the peach in his peaches and cottage cheese, started to pull it apart with his fingers, so I cut up his food for him. He was quite confused between his knife and spoon, when he did figure out that the knife was to spread jam on his English muffin he did not really understand the principal of how a knife carries the jam and spreads it.

After his muffin was gone, he loaded up his knife with more jam, "Where am I supposed to put this?" he asked. "Back in the jar," I replied, "you have no more muffin to put it on."

He was aware of how confused he was and (in his few-ly worded way) recognized "How I am after a movie."

The Iron Lady (CAUTION: Movie Spoiler)

Today Gregory and I went to see The Iron Lady, a movie about Margaret Thatcher who is played by Meryl Streep. After seeing Ms. Streep in Julia and Julie, I knew we had to see this one. Miss Streep is one of THE actors of our time.

Early in the movie I realized that part of telling Ms. Thatcher's story is that she, at 82, suffers from dementia which has been labeled Alzheimer's Disease. Totally unprepared. So you can imagine I cried through a lot of the movie. Not sure how Gregory felt about it. Maybe we'll discuss it in a little while over dinner. Then again, why ruin a good meal. Maybe before bedtime. Then again, why ruin a good night's sleep?

Below is the link to an article I found on the internet which talks about Ms. Thatcher's daughter and her autobiography.

Click here to go to Mary Kenny's article.