Theater Follow Up

RZ, in response to yesterdays post, wrote:

i think you were reading my mind, i was trying to figure out a way to suggest maybe greg can no longer go to such events, i was very attuned to both him and you and i know you want to give greg every opportunity to participate in life but it seems like its getting to be where the focus is getting smaller, i talked with MS a bit and had planned on saying something. oh michael it is just shit, im so sad and at the same time know you make his world continue to be special. much love to you both RZ

My Reply via e-mail:

Or maybe you were reading my mind:-) I think the unusualness of the swimming pool etc and maybe a "bad" day is what we were experiencing. Besides the "focus" I have never seen Gregory that tired at a performance. In traditional settings he still seems to do well enough but the Pool was definitely too much ... for him and for me to monitor. 

When we go to the Lyric or Goodman it still seems to be OK and I always make sure we sit on the aisle. That seems to help. Also when it is just the two of us and I can give all my attention to him instead of visiting with friends, it also seems to go better for him. 

I have been aware for a while that this "skill" is now in the "comes and goes" phase. What happens is that there is a period of time when he still does well enough that change is not necessary, then I begin to be more supportive, then the skill returns, then it leaves, and finally I decide that it is time to discontinue that particular activity. 

One of my gauges for future theater decisions is also "does it disturb those around us." At the pool I think it did but at other venues on other occasions it doesn't seem to. So at this point I will probably not take Gregory to theater with friends but he and I will continue to go when it is just the two of us. He enjoys the experience and the music so much that it is worth my continued efforts (again as long as it does not disturb those around us.) We are, however, certainly on the path to theatrical extinction. 

Thanks for your feedback, your support, your love. And yes ... IT IS JUST SHIT!

Since you mentioned MS, I copied him so he could be part of the conversation. Thanks to both of you.

Love ya,

m

P.S. While I was at the computer writing this, Gregory finished shaving and was getting dressed. I glanced over and saw that his underpants, undershirt, and sweatshirt were on so far ... and all three were backwards. Now I wish I hadn't intervened and waited instead to see if he would have gotten his sweatpants on backwards also. But that would have been mean :-) In the past, I have told him, "Since you get your clothes on backwards so often, why don't you just do it wrong. Then they'll be on right." He laughs. I smile (and die.)

Theater and The Full Disclosure

Yesterday I posted a fantasy about Gregory and me. I thought it would cheer me up to not tell the same old sad story. It did cheer me up for a while thinking about fond memories but the problem with fantasy is that it is NOT reality. And in Alzheimer's case even reality is often NOT real.

Last night we went to the opera "Orpheus and Euridice" by Ricky Ian Gordon which was presented at and in the Eckhart Park Pool. It was given as a free performance by the Chicago Opera Theater (to which we are subscribers) as well as the Chicago Park District and the City of Chicago's Classics in the Parks.

Obviously the swimming pool setting was unusual. And Gregory had a difficult time of it. He kept dozing off and when awake his face was somewhat blank. Possibly he was not registering the action of the opera. I would point his face toward what he should have been watching and I could not tell what his eyes were doing.

I enjoyed the opera but sat there for 70 minutes without an intermission wondering if we would get through it and what would happen if we had to leave since the exit was on the opposite side of where we were sitting. And the action was all around us (including one exciting moment when the dry ice "fog" started filling the entire pool floor area from under our seats. We made it ... but with a mental note to consider future performances and wondering how long we would be able to continue our active theater and opera life.

  

  


FULL DISCLOSURE SECTION

This morning after he took his morning dump (announcing as if it was a miracle) he stood to pull up his pants. No you did not hear me mention the part where one cleans one's ass with toilet paper and then a moist wipe. And one cannot assume that took place.

So I popped up from the computer to check the "pot" and sure enough ... lots of shit but no toilet paper. When I mentioned that he forgot to wipe he did not know what I meant. "You need to clean yourself." Still no comprehension. So I went into my, "Sit back down." Which he did after repeating myself two more times. "Use the paper (pointing.)" Which he did several times and miraculously monitoring how many more wipes he would need.

"OK, how did I do?" he asked.

"OK, I replied," thinking "Sad."

This scenario has repeated itself a number of times recently so I am beginning to think that I need to monitor every time he uses the bathroom. I guess I should be grateful that he recognizes (not always) the urge to visit the bathroom most of the time. Sometimes he will get agitated and his face will tell me something is wrong. I will inquire to no avail and usually then suggest he go to the bathroom and that seems to settle him down. Don't know if in effect he needed to use the bathroom or if the distraction allowed him to forget what was really upsetting him.

I don't even try to figure these things out anymore (except here to process for myself and for your benefit.) A SHITTY story don't you agree :-?

Interesting

Tonight I thought about Gregory and my increased theater activity. During the 2012/13/14 seasons we will have subscribed to Lyric Opera of Chicago (8,) Goodman Theater (6,) Shakespeare Theatre (4,) and Light Opera Works (4.)

We have been to individual shows at Mercury Theater (1,) Writer's Theater (2,) Northwestern Interpretation Center (2,) and a few others. We have seen musicals, opera, serious drama, concerts, and master classes.

Why has there been this dramatic increase in our attendance in the theater world? So far we have seen "Sweet Charity" erroneously find and loose love, witnessed a strike for a 7.5 cents raise in "Pajama Game," saw "Cesar" killed on the Ides of March, followed a dysfunctional family as they worked out their problems in "Other Desert Cities," joined a fight for gay rights in "Teddy Farrara,"  spent "Sunday in the Park with George," learned to tell the truth at the "School for Lies," lived happily ever after in "Camelot," dreamt the impossible dream with the "Man from LaMancha," asked for more sir with "Oliver," followed the bread crumb path laid by "Hansel and Gretel," danced Musetta's waltz in "La Bohem," JUST TO NAME FEW.

Pretty quickly I realized why this increase. For both Gregory and me, it has been important to get out and enjoy ourselves. We usually go out to a nice place for dinner then the theater. More importantly I think it has helped our world continue to be larger as Gregory's abilities, language, communication skills, and experiences etc continue to grow smaller. The nature of dealing with Alzheimer's Disease is that the person afflicted can do less and less and the interaction with life becomes more narrowly focused.

Experiencing the magic of theater has, as the song goes in "Chorus Line," allowed things in our life to continue to be beautiful.

Everything was beautiful at the ballet.

Graceful men lift lovely girls in white.

Yes,  Everything was beautiful at ballet.

Hey! I was happy... at the ballet.

Everything was beautiful at the ballet.

Every prince has got to have his swan.

Yes,  Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.

Hey!... I was pretty... 

At the ballet.

Everything was beautiful at the ballet.

Raise your arms and someone's always there.

Yes, everything was beautiful at the ballet,

At the ballet,

At the ballet!!!