Alzheimer's: A Love Story

Watched second rough cut of "Alzheimer's: A Love Story."

Cried.

Watched it a second and third time.

Cried.

Gabe, Monica, Amanda, and Riani did a fine job of condensing 40+ years of love and 11+ years of walking the path of Alzheimer's into a 15 minute documentary! Not an easy job. But when you watch it, you will see, it is all about one thing: LOVE!

Next step is for me to attend the screening in LA. As I find out more about PBS and other film festivals, I will keep you posted here. Eventually I will be hosting a screening at the Lieberman Center and at my condo. Finally it will be available here on the blog.

Hopefully the documentary will not only shed more light on Alzheimer's and the JOY carried on the shoulders of SORROW that it brings, but also on same sex couples who are walking the same path that Gregory and I have been on.

If I Had Known

On Sep 17, 2014, at 10:39 PM, N E in a response to my FALL UPDATE of  9/10/14 wrote:

Dear Michael,

  This line really spoke to me: "I wear heavy grief on one shoulder but immense joy on the other so I am able to continue to live a somewhat balanced life." What a boon to be able to say that. I think that is what a caregiver lives with and strives for. I was at a play this evening wherein the main character was told what his future life would be, what he would gain and what he would have to live without in exchange. He was asked if he could live with this future and he barely hesitated before saying yes. What would we say if we knew what the future could hold?

Thinking of you,

Nancy

I wrote back:

Thanks Nancy. It was been too long since we have visited. You made me think about what I would say if we knew what the future cold hold. I would immediately say YES to Gregory. If I knew ahead of time perhaps I (we) could have used the time more wisely and at times more kindly, but I would do it all over again because our love for each other has been so special that it dwarfs the pain. That is another reason I can balance the JOY and GRIEF as I continue walking my path alone, having to leave Gregory behind to find his way on a path that becomes more and more difficult for me to see and/or understand.

Michael 

Flow Free

Through the ordeal of Gregory's psychotic episode and hospital stay, I realized again that no matter how much I love him, the path with Alzheimer's is his and I choose to walk along side him. For a while I became so intertwined with being his caregiver, I felt responsible for everything that happened to him and forgot this separation of path. Now I am walking slightly behind him. Lieberman Center is responsible for his life, his health, his safety, he keep. I am there to help make it a little bit better, to hold his hand, and to figure out my new role as secondary caregiver. The following quote, which I just came across after some 20 years, applies:

FLOW FREE

He gulped on the last few words and broke into sobs again; and, as I did not appear to have it in me to soothe his pain, I did nothing. You reach a point at which you cannot control the event, so you stand aside and let the hurt flow free.

How Long Has This Been Going On? Ethan Mordden. Page 590. 1995.