If I Had Known

On Sep 17, 2014, at 10:39 PM, N E in a response to my FALL UPDATE of  9/10/14 wrote:

Dear Michael,

  This line really spoke to me: "I wear heavy grief on one shoulder but immense joy on the other so I am able to continue to live a somewhat balanced life." What a boon to be able to say that. I think that is what a caregiver lives with and strives for. I was at a play this evening wherein the main character was told what his future life would be, what he would gain and what he would have to live without in exchange. He was asked if he could live with this future and he barely hesitated before saying yes. What would we say if we knew what the future could hold?

Thinking of you,

Nancy

I wrote back:

Thanks Nancy. It was been too long since we have visited. You made me think about what I would say if we knew what the future cold hold. I would immediately say YES to Gregory. If I knew ahead of time perhaps I (we) could have used the time more wisely and at times more kindly, but I would do it all over again because our love for each other has been so special that it dwarfs the pain. That is another reason I can balance the JOY and GRIEF as I continue walking my path alone, having to leave Gregory behind to find his way on a path that becomes more and more difficult for me to see and/or understand.

Michael