Facebook

Check out the new Facebook page intended to keep you up to date on the progress of "ALZHEIMER'S: A Love Story," the documentary about Gregory and my journey with Alzheimer's that was part of Chapman University, Dodge College of Film and Media Arts "Community Voices."

Facebook Responses

From time to time I will post responses that I received to my various update e-mails on Gregory's decline which eventually led to his needing to be at a memory care facility.

While many of them are a tribute to me (felt good, thanks) I am sharing them more for those of you out there who are deeply involved yourself in loving someone with dementia. 

Gregory and I have so many loving friends and family members that I felt it my responsibility to keep everyone up to date on his "progress." Also, when people would visit us, they would know what to expect and how to behave.

Not being in frequent contact with many of our family and friends and with many being spread out all across the country, I felt e-mail and periodically Facebook was a good way to do so.

The comments were pleasantly unexpected. The support welcome.

These were responses from Facebook, which by the nature of Facebook are brief, "clicks" comments:

So sorry to hear this. K filled us in on this and we feel sad for you, but know this is for the best for both of you. We think of you often and wish you the best.

Love you both

Thoughts to you

I can't "like" this. Sorry to hear this. We are thinking of you both. XOXOX

Wow!! Big hugs to you Michael!!!! You are and have been the best/strongest/most loving advocate I know!! God Bless you and Greg!!! 

My heart is with you Michael, a very tough decision, but probably the best for Greg. Luv to you both.

Sending you a hug. Listen to yourself, do not question your actions. You know what is best right now. That is what unconditional love is about. Making the decision to put my Mother in a care facility was tough but the best thing for her and for me.

Thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Thinking of both of you at this difficult time. Very tough decision but a good one for both of you. My prayers are with you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both during this difficult time.

Thinking of you both.

It is such a hard decision but the health of both of you is important.... glad that you are both where you need to be at this time....sending you much love and support.

Sorry to hear that news, glad that you are able to make the best of it. My thoughts are with you both.

Thoughts and prayers are with you. Good decision in deed!

What a tremendously hard decision to work thru. I wish you both the best.

Hugs to you.

Sending lots of love your way, what a difficult decision to have to make for the person you love more than yourself. My heart goes out to you both.

You have done everything you could possibly do.

Sending you both much love, beautiful Michael.

My heart is with you both. So much I want to say to you...I think you know how much I adore and admire you, and how brave this move was. Hang in there!!!!

I am so sorry to hear this. I wish the best for both of you You both are in my thoughts.

I'm sure this was hard for you, but you made the right decision. Thanks for all of the updates. Love reading your blog.

So sorry to hear this, Michael. I wish you and Gregory all the best through this very difficult time.

You're both in my prayers.

What a difficult decision for you Michael. So sorry to hear of this - keeping both of you in my prayers.

Sending you lots of love, energy and piece. Praying for you both! You are not alone! Xoxoxo

Holding you both close!

Wow Michael, what a brave and beautiful thing…

Sending good thoughts & prayers for you both

Thanks for your openness always

Prayers & positive thoughts for you both!

Thinking of you both, Michael.

 U R amazing

I am so sorry Michael. I know how hard this must be for you. My prayers go out to both of you.

 Thinking of you…both.

Sending oodles of love. Will call to work out a visit.

Love you very much

Michael, I can't bring myself to post on FB my feelings about your latest post. Please know that my heartfelt thoughts are with both you and Gregory. I embrace you with love, dear one.

 A brave and loving decision. Peace to you both. xxoo

All my love and support to you. Please know that you have many hearts and prayers on both your behalf's on this long journey.

My heart included.

 You both are fantastic... My thoughts are with you.

All my love to you both!

Wishing you strength for your journey.

Prayer

Often people will tell me that they are praying for Gregory and me. Other times people will ask us to pray for them or their loved ones. It is not that I mind, it is just that I am not sure "I believe."

When they say they are praying for us, I appreciate the love and understanding they are showing us. When asking us to pray for them, I appreciate the love and support for which they are asking.

We are not religious, we consider ourselves spiritual. We do not embrace any particular religion, Possibly Buddhism, which is more a belief system, is closer to what we do believe in. We do not pray or believe in some outside power taking care of us, we believe that God is within us, is us! I have written about this before.

My usual Facebook response to prayer, which I think serves the same purpose of making someone who has asked for our prayers feel heard is to say, "Sending positive healing thoughts to you and yours."

Recently this request was met by my further thoughts. Perhaps prayer is a way of centering oneself and focusing one's attention so action and/or thoughts can be directed towards new solutions, understandings, actions. I believe that the answer is within a person, not manifested in some outward diety or entity sitting on a throne in judgement of me.

I do not believe that begging, or bargaining, or feeling guilty is what a God would want from us. I think he/she would want us to have confidence in ourselves and know that we have all we need to make good decisions, come to good conclusions, take appropriate actions to solve our problems, to be good people ... or at least to be at peace if the difficulties cannot be solved/changed. And the courage to know and accept the difference?

Painting

Gregory continues to paint almost every Tuesday with Nancy Rosen at her studio in Chicago. He has completed close to 150 paintings (of various sizes) in a little under two years.

I posted the following painting on my Facebook page. It is one of G and my current favorites.

Our friend JY commented: It's like the sunlight filtering through a dense forest. Wow!

I replied: As you know, who knows what if anything the painting symbolizes. I think it is mostly abstraction and enjoying use of color that is rising from deep within Gregory but not necessarily with any connections or associations or at least ones that he could express. I know he did not start out thinking, "Oh I think I'll paint a forest" etc. He probably didn't have those thoughts anytime during the painting and maybe could only see the relationship when someone other mentioned what they saw in his work.

The whole process is, however, wonderful and amazing and I am so pleased that he enjoys the new found hobby so much and that we are fortunate enough to have Nancy Rosen (our Art Angel) support his efforts.

If you get a chance, be sure to visit Nancy's site http://www.nrosen.com  to see some of her amazing work. She is one of the most prolific artists that I know. I will advertise here for her next "Save Me From Myself Sale" which she has every December to move some product at good prices so she can create some space for next year's work!

Also, I will post a link soon so you can see Gregory's 2012-2013 work.