Interesting

Tonight I thought about Gregory and my increased theater activity. During the 2012/13/14 seasons we will have subscribed to Lyric Opera of Chicago (8,) Goodman Theater (6,) Shakespeare Theatre (4,) and Light Opera Works (4.)

We have been to individual shows at Mercury Theater (1,) Writer's Theater (2,) Northwestern Interpretation Center (2,) and a few others. We have seen musicals, opera, serious drama, concerts, and master classes.

Why has there been this dramatic increase in our attendance in the theater world? So far we have seen "Sweet Charity" erroneously find and loose love, witnessed a strike for a 7.5 cents raise in "Pajama Game," saw "Cesar" killed on the Ides of March, followed a dysfunctional family as they worked out their problems in "Other Desert Cities," joined a fight for gay rights in "Teddy Farrara,"  spent "Sunday in the Park with George," learned to tell the truth at the "School for Lies," lived happily ever after in "Camelot," dreamt the impossible dream with the "Man from LaMancha," asked for more sir with "Oliver," followed the bread crumb path laid by "Hansel and Gretel," danced Musetta's waltz in "La Bohem," JUST TO NAME FEW.

Pretty quickly I realized why this increase. For both Gregory and me, it has been important to get out and enjoy ourselves. We usually go out to a nice place for dinner then the theater. More importantly I think it has helped our world continue to be larger as Gregory's abilities, language, communication skills, and experiences etc continue to grow smaller. The nature of dealing with Alzheimer's Disease is that the person afflicted can do less and less and the interaction with life becomes more narrowly focused.

Experiencing the magic of theater has, as the song goes in "Chorus Line," allowed things in our life to continue to be beautiful.

Everything was beautiful at the ballet.

Graceful men lift lovely girls in white.

Yes,  Everything was beautiful at ballet.

Hey! I was happy... at the ballet.

Everything was beautiful at the ballet.

Every prince has got to have his swan.

Yes,  Everyone is beautiful at the ballet.

Hey!... I was pretty... 

At the ballet.

Everything was beautiful at the ballet.

Raise your arms and someone's always there.

Yes, everything was beautiful at the ballet,

At the ballet,

At the ballet!!!

Companion

Gregory's companion Ken has moved in with us for three months. A while ago, he had mentioned that his lease was up in March, that he couldn't renew it because his building was doing some renovation, and that he was here for school until June. I asked him what he was going to do and he said he didn't know, he would have to find another apartment.

This caused my "opportunity light" to go on. I thought about the possibility of his moving in with us, discussed my idea with Gregory, and a few days later we presented our proposition to Ken. In exchange for a very little rent from him and more time available to be with Gregory, he could have our guest room and the guest bath as his own. We could also share meals when he was home and when I cooked.

The offer was made at two levels. One was altruistic because Ken was in need of something we could provide and we have come to like him a lot over the year that he has been Gregory's companion. Secondly it would provide me with what I have been calling, "The Nobel Experiment." How do I continue to provide for Gregory's needs as the demand increases and yet still maintain my sanity?

The idea of having someone live with us 24/7, the fact that the condo while comfortable is not huge, and with Gregory and I having to give up our guest/TV room, we had some hesitancies and concerns.  Even with Ken's being excited about the idea and his accepting our offer, I am sure he had concerns as well.

The idea was to see what having "live in help" would be like. Most likely this is the future if I want Gregory to be able to stay at home for as long as possible. As his medical and personal needs increase the person will have to be more health care oriented but that is not necessary at this point. Also, I am healthy and able to take care of Gregory's needs and while I expect to stay healthy, it is always good to plan for all possibilities.

The transition has been very smooth and most of our worries unfounded, Ken is comfortably ensconced in the guest room and besides his being supportive as a companion to Gregory and providing me a friend I can actually communicate with, he has been an excellent, respectful long term "guest.

It has been nice having someone around to let me get out to play, to run errands, have a life of my own so I can be in a better place and more emotionally available to Gregory. Most of the time Gregory and I are together but Ken's being around has given me more opportunities for myself. He has also given Gregory company when I am at my computer running the household or writing or taking a nap.

Ken has provided me with a companion in many ways as I have someone to talk to and share complex ideas which Gregory is no longer able to do. Ken can give me feedback and helps make me feel less alone.

Another thing Ken has provided is putting me in a place of "wiser adult" and almost a parent figure as he asks for my advice, as I sometimes offer it on my own, and he seems to value what I have to offer. I know Gregory needs me, but the interaction and communication with Ken meets those needs on a different level.

Also, Ken has on his own taken over house hold responsibilities like emptying the dish washer, taking out the garbage, picking up groceries, helping me with condo maintenance. He has begun to give Gregory his breakfast and goes swimming with him.

So the only problem with this "Nobel Experiment" is that both Gregory and I are enjoying it very much but it will end in June. Will enjoy it now ... and worry about loosing Ken when that comes.

Meditation

Last week in my Nidra Yoga Meditation class I realized that instead of being better able to deal with my impatience and at times lack of compassion for Gregory, I needed to work on dealing with the feeling that I get in my chest when an interaction or communication with Gregory goes awry. If I can identify the "feeling" when it arrives and diffuse it, I will be patient and compassionate even more than I usually am. It is the confusion, fear, and anger behind the "feeling" that causes me to be impatient. One step closer to perfection '-)

I am taking a class at the Heartwood Center in Evanston with Corinne Peterson.
http://www.corinnepeterson.com/yoga-therapy/