Living Alone With Dementia

Besides my own writing, you may have noticed that I have begun to include the writing of others on this blog. The "Others" are people with dementia and the writing is from what I call the "REAL" side of it, the side of the person who is living with dementia.

Early on, a buffer protected Gregory from really realizing his situation, his decline and we were never really able to discuss what it was like from his point of view.

I certainly worked at holding his point of view in all (most) of my actions if only because of our love, our 40+ years together, my observations, my research and studies on Dementia/ Alzheimer's.

But until I met Kate Swaffer, I never really understood what it must have been like for Gregory in so many ways.

This article shared by Kate Swaffer, written by Dr. Judy Galvin, goes one step further. It is from the point of view of a person with dementia who lives alone, a scenario I never even began to consider.

Yet another "gift" of Alzheimer's to me as I continue to grow in patience, compassion, and understanding not only towards Gregory but all of humanity. That may sound self-serving and grand, but so is Alzheimer's!

http://kateswaffer.com/2015/09/27/living-alone-with-dementia-by-dr-judy-galvin-dam2015-day-27/comment-page-1/#comment-60637

The Case for "Living Beyond Dementia"

Again my friend in Australia, Kate Swaffer (who is living well beyond dementia) so accurately, articulately, if not eloquently states the case for living beyond a diagnosis of dementia. I share he current post here: CLICK HERE TO SEE POST

Detachment

More and more, the tenants and writings of Buddhism talk to me of my life and more importantly my journey with Gregory through and beyond Alzheimer's.

—S.N. Goenka, “The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation”, from The Buddha is Still Teaching: Contemporary Buddhist Wisdom, selected and edited by Jack Kornfield

By learning to remain balanced in the face of everything experienced inside, one develops detachment towards all that one encounters in external situations as well. However, this detachment is not escapism or indifference to the problems of the world. Those who regularly practice Vipassana become more sensitive to the sufferings of others and do their utmost to relieve suffering in whatever way they can—not with any agitation, but with a mind full of love, compassion, and equanimity. They learn holy indifference—how to be fully committed, fully involved in helping others, while at the same time maintaining balance of mind. In this way they remain peaceful and happy while working for the peace and happiness of others.

This is what the Buddha taught: an art of living. He never established or taught any religion, any “ism.” He never instructed those who came to him to practice any rites or rituals, any empty formalities. Instead, he taught them just to observe nature as it is by observing the reality inside. Out of ignorance, we keep reacting in ways which harm ourselves and others. But when wisdom arises—the wisdom of observing reality as it is—this habit of reacting falls away. When we cease to react blindly, then we are capable of real action—action proceeding from a balanced mind, a mind which sees and understands the truth. Such action can only be positive, creative, helpful to ourselves and to others.

Today we say goodbye to a teacher who had an immense impact on the world. S.N. Goenka was a pioneer in making Vipassana meditation widely available to a secular audience. Over 170 meditation centers have been established around the globe under his auspices. His legacy will resound indefinitely.