This Evening at Lieberman

I spent three hours with Gregory today.

From 2:00-3:00, Barbara, a volunteer, played piano. I think she is older than many of the residents on the floor and her energy, or lack of it, showed in her playing.

I am not criticizing, just describing. Many residents slept, many stared, a few clapped their hands or sung. Each, in their own way, enjoyed the performance.

Back in Gregory's room, we partook of some of the food treats I had brought in: pitted cherries, fresh figs, animal cookies, refrigerated chocolate covered mini donuts, and pretzel rods.

The way to Gregory's heart is through his mouth ... really! Manny was placing a cherry on Gregory's specially handled and weighted fork and Gregory was methodically able to bring the cherry to his mouth, pull it off with his teeth, and enjoy the wonderful taste with his eyes closed.

At one point I asked Gregory to give me a cherry. It was already skewered onto his fork, I put my face close enough to him and he actually put a cherry in my mouth! Oh joy!

Later when I gave him a pretzel rod, I labeled it out-loud to him, "Pretzel! Can you say that." Without much thinking, Gregory responded, "Pretzel." Manny and I were elated, applauded, and Gregory smiled.

Gregory noticed the photograph of Julia Child which sits in a black frame on his window sill. "Oh wow!" he said, as if discovering not only the photo for the first time but also the memory's return for the first in a long time. Tears (of joy) came to him and I gave him a hug. I asked if he wanted me to tell the story? He shook his head, "Yes."

I proceeded to retell the story of how Julia Child used to live in the same neighborhood as Gregory when he lived in Boston. They used to run into each other at the butcher and developed an acquaintanceship over discussing the various cuts of meats. Gregory has always prided himself in this story and told it many times over when he was able.

On listening to my retelling with rapt attention, the tears flowed in abundance with the look of such pain, longing, remembering, being overwhelmed, uncontrollable grief, not sure exactly which emotions were really present.

I hugged him and we rocked and cried together. Sometimes I am grateful that Gregory still has emotions and is able to express them but this time I wondered if the pain was worth their recalling.

A little later he started calling, "Momma ... momma ... momma." He did this chain of three several times and the tears began again. I am not sure what prompted this or why and according to Manny, it was a first. We rocked and cried again.

Now that it was getting close to dinner time I decided I needed to try to cheer him up so I asked him if he wanted me to do "The Teddy Bear Puppet Show?" He responded by shaking his head, "Yes."

His Teddy Bear, named Peaceful, is large enough and flexible enough that when grabbed by the back of its neck, one can do a pretty good imitation of having the bear dance, sing, act silly, wave, give kisses, whatever.

So we did the usual show, Gregory began to smile, kissed Peaceful in return, and we all broke into giggles as how silly I was being.

The other day, during a similar puppet show, Gregory instead of kissing the bear, grabbed its nose in his mouth, bit hard, shook his head back and forth, and "Gurrrrrrred" as if he was a bear himself.

The Teddy Bear's name is "Peaceful." "Peaceful," Gregory repeated and we went off to dinner.

Delores Went Home, Martha Joined Us, Batia Loves Gregory, Aaron's Wife Was Upset, and Michael is a Nut

This evening I spend dinner time with Gregory.

Batia, always verbal if not always understandable, really likes Gregory. When he is down she tries to cheer him up, when he smiles she is happy. Today she commented that Gregory is certainly a handsome man!

I wondered why mild mannered Delores was not at her place and to my relieve found out that she had been at Lieberman for a "vacation" while her family traveled. I was relieved that she, herself, had not taken the "long vacation."

Martha, newly at the table, was not too hungry and I encouraged her to eat a little more, which she did. When she was finished she wanted away from the table and is able to "foot push" herself around in her wheelchair. Gregory's chair was in the way so I moved it over a little to allow Martha to get away from the table.

Martha walked her wheel chair over to me to thank me for encouraging her to eat and for helping her get away from the table before it was time for bed. She stroked my arm and smiled warmly. Then she said, "You can give me a kiss now" and she leaned into my face to receive one, which I surprisingly gave. Then she left the dining room. I think Martha was hitting on me!

Aaron's wife was very upset and was berating the staff for taking her money but NEVER taking care of her husband. He had no knife or fork or glass and his food had gotten cold. "Sitting alone in a corner like a dog," was one of her comments.

No judgements, and I understand her upset, but she doesn't visit all that often. Aaron is mean and angry and yells very loudly when people approach to try to help. I have seen staff continue to approach him anyway, try to help him eat, and be friendly even though he threatens to throw things.

The Nurse Supervisor was called and showed up pretty quickly to try to help take care of the situation. Remember: Never try to reason with someone who is angry. Just say "I see, I see." and bide your time.

By now the tenor of our corner of the dining room had turned sour so Gregory, Manny, and I went back to his room to finish his dessert of canned pears (one of his favorites.)

After he was finished eating, I gave him a manicure. He rightfully got angry with me when I accidentally (after being oh so careful) nicked a cuticle and drew blood.) But he did calm down pretty quickly.

I gave Gregory a largish Teddy Bear a week ago. Now and then, I take it by the back of its neck, sit it on the arm of Gregory's wheel chair, and use it like a puppet, talking in a high voice, "I love you Mr. Man. Am I your favorite Teddy Bear? Let me give you a kiss. Smack. Smack. Etc."

Gregory's comment, looking over at Manny and smiling, "He is a nut!" I loved it!