The book Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief, by Martha Whitmore Hickman, was recommended to me by Corinne Peterson, my yoga teacher and guru.
When I come across a particular salient passage, I will share it here with you. I highly suggest the book if you are currently, or will be dealing with death and loss.
Even as I stood there, the tears streaming down my face, I felt a kind of joy for him, a strange gayety almost, that he would so soon be released, and I had a sense that he stood now on the threshold of some great adventure ... so it was in a strange way not only a time of terrible sorrow, but a moment of light, as I stood there telling him goodbye.
Showing posts with label Release. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Release. Show all posts
Friday, December 11, 2015
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Another Milestone
Another milestone passed today as Gregory's body was cremated. Depressing. Morbid. Macabre. Frightening. Surreal. Sad. But these negatives are supplanted with JOY when you think that his earthly body was currently the home of Dementia/Alzheimer's and all that the disease brings. Now he is free.
Now that his body is no longer his address and after 67 years of serving him well (minus a few for Dementia/ Alzheimer's) his body is reduced to its essence and if the remaining carbon was put under great pressure, he would become another version of the bright, shining diamond which he was throughout his life.
Although he never complained and settled in at Lieberman in his usual calm, confident way; he no longer has to face being confined to a wheelchair, his newly acquired narrow life, shitting and peeing himself, not being able to feed himself, to frustration and confusion (although dampened by Rxsperadol,) not being able to communicate and often not being able to understand. He no longer needs to deal with reduced mental, physical, emotional, and cognitive abilities. He is free to fly and to dance.
That is not to say (especially reminded when looking at photographs of him) that his days with Dementia/Alzheimer's were also not filled with love and joy for him and for those who love him. Even in his reduced state he kept his sense of humor and gave freely of his love and smiles to others around him, including no only me but also family and friends and his fellow residents.
So we reach a new milestone in Gregory's life. His moving on to the next adventure: whatever, wherever, and however that may be. I believe that there is something greater then here. Just because I cannot see it, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just because I cannot prove it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. What I also know is that I cannot prove that is doesn't exist, so I will err on the side of "he is in a better place."
Now that his body is no longer his address and after 67 years of serving him well (minus a few for Dementia/ Alzheimer's) his body is reduced to its essence and if the remaining carbon was put under great pressure, he would become another version of the bright, shining diamond which he was throughout his life.
Although he never complained and settled in at Lieberman in his usual calm, confident way; he no longer has to face being confined to a wheelchair, his newly acquired narrow life, shitting and peeing himself, not being able to feed himself, to frustration and confusion (although dampened by Rxsperadol,) not being able to communicate and often not being able to understand. He no longer needs to deal with reduced mental, physical, emotional, and cognitive abilities. He is free to fly and to dance.
That is not to say (especially reminded when looking at photographs of him) that his days with Dementia/Alzheimer's were also not filled with love and joy for him and for those who love him. Even in his reduced state he kept his sense of humor and gave freely of his love and smiles to others around him, including no only me but also family and friends and his fellow residents.
So we reach a new milestone in Gregory's life. His moving on to the next adventure: whatever, wherever, and however that may be. I believe that there is something greater then here. Just because I cannot see it, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Just because I cannot prove it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. What I also know is that I cannot prove that is doesn't exist, so I will err on the side of "he is in a better place."
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