Georgia on My Mind

One of the residents on Gregory's floor is Helen. She is a sweet, friendly, older black woman who is supported on a daily basis by her daughter Shirley and her cousin Georgia.

I try to get to know the relatives who visit often because I am there every day visiting Gregory and this is one way to build community with others in a similar situation.

One thing I have learned from those family members I chat with is that while there are often many brothers, sisters, children and grandchildren available, usually only one or two take on the responsibility of caring for the person with Alzheimer's (dementia.)

I have also seen that those who do take the responsibility see it as "what I do" and discount the absence of the others with a shrug or "What are you going to do?" I do not ever detect resentment or anger, just a continued focus of love for the resident family member.

Georgia and I chat and laugh together a lot. She is now retired but worked at a nursing home for close to 38 years. So she knows the drill and is good at it! Our relationship started when she and I were in the elevator going down to the lobby. "Are you leaving now?" I asked.

"No, I am just going out for a breath of fresh air." replied Georgia. The funny thing, and I tease he for it, is that her "Just going out for a breath of fresh air" meant going out to smoke a cigarette.

During a conversation yesterday about the lack of support from family members, Georgia told me that while Helen has many many children and grand children, only she and Helen's daughter Shirley ever visit.

She summed it up this way, "You never hear from family, but when their ham gets burnt they are at your front door for dinner."