Through the ordeal of Gregory's psychotic episode and hospital stay, I realized again that no matter how much I love him, the path with Alzheimer's is his and I choose to walk along side him. For a while I became so intertwined with being his caregiver, I felt responsible for everything that happened to him and forgot this separation of path. Now I am walking slightly behind him. Lieberman Center is responsible for his life, his health, his safety, he keep. I am there to help make it a little bit better, to hold his hand, and to figure out my new role as secondary caregiver. The following quote, which I just came across after some 20 years, applies:
FLOW FREE
He gulped on the last few words and broke into sobs again; and, as I did not appear to have it in me to soothe his pain, I did nothing. You reach a point at which you cannot control the event, so you stand aside and let the hurt flow free.
How Long Has This Been Going On? Ethan Mordden. Page 590. 1995.
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