When Giving Away Clothes of the Departed

I have spent the last two days organizing the master bedroom closet and sorting through Gregory's clothes. Most of them he will no longer use as he wears sweats, long sleeve "T" shirts, and sandal type shoes all of the time. He has no need for more than one winter coat and probably won't use the one he has.

Sweaters are out of the question as he needs to have his top changed several times a day when they clean up what we will generously call his "bathroom accidents" which are now his standard way of processing his waste. Also, Lieberman like most care homes is usually over heated. I have learned to wear less when I visit.

Overcoats, top coats, his tuxedo, many pairs of shoes, gloves, scarves, earmuffs are all fair game for the give-away pile. I know that Gregory is not dead, but this part of what I must do sure feels like it.

I have kept a number of his plaid button up shirts and he will be able to use them in the cold months. But most of the other stuff no longer has a purpose to serve.

While doing this is necessary, and while in no way am I of the type to hold on to his clothes for sentimental value (I didn't smell his shirts once like they do in the movies,) it does remind me of the finality of our situation. And that hurts.

All of his "stuff" will live on through Casa Norte, a support service organization that helps young Latino men trying to shake jail, drugs, gangs, crime, etc.

Ironically I picture one of these good looking young men being very excited about discovering one of Gregory's beautiful, in perfect condition, expensive Armani shirts in the Case Norte Help Yourself Closet. That makes me feel better.

We have brought our outlived clothing to Casa Norte many times before and Gregory and I always enjoyed knowing they would be used with love, as they were given with love.

So while I will not talk about this with Gregory, I know he would love the idea and if he could talk back, he would say in his limited use of words fashion, "Fine!"