The Metaphor of the Pillow

Just now I was sitting on the new chair in my bedroom sitting area. As I sat there, I was looking across the room where Gregory's ashes rest and at the photograph of him which has become what I consider the "standard" Gregory photo. Emma, my cat was sitting in my lap and I was absent-mindedly petting her.

I began a meditation practice by being aware of what my body was physically feeling. I felt the chill air being pulled into my mouth and the warmed air being expelled. I could hear a gentle hum of some motor running elsewhere in the condo. I could hear the emptiness of no talking, no noise in my ears. I felt my feet firmly resting on the floor. I felt my back supported by the pillow.

This is the pillow which Isaac made for me out of a shirt he took from Gregory's room at the Lieberman Center after Gregory had died. It was one of my favorite shirts, which when I outgrew it became one of Gregory's favorite shirts.

As I thought about the support of the pillow, a number of metaphors started playing in my mind. Since my meditation was spontaneous, and since I did not have any particular intention for it, I let my mind play with pillow metaphors.

The pillow is soft. It feels smooth to the skin and warm. It gives the back support. When the head is resting on the pillow, it can raise the head and therefore the mind to a higher level. A pillow can be hugged, or cried into, or just held gently or firmly. A pillow can be joyfully, playfully tossed or batted at another person.

The pillow elevates. The pillow soothes. The pillow comforts. The pillow supports. The pillow protects. The pillow loves. The pillow remembers.

This pillow in particular is the love of Gregory and Isaac and Michael and the world of love and life.