Periodically I will add posts here if the sources provide additioanl informaiton on how to think about and deal with Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease.


SCROLL DOWN FOR TEXT and BIBLIOGRAPHY from DAI WEBINAR 2/22-23/2017. You can also find this information on my website:

Even though this blog is now dormant (see info below) there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. My guess is that you could spend a lot of time here and maybe learn or experience a thing or two about living with and loving someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's or maybe come away with the feeling that "you are not alone" in YOUR work with the same!

• • • • •


Happy New Year 2016. With a new year comes new beginnings and sometimes endings. If I am personally progressing and if I am doing a good job in my grieving Gregory's death; if I have been able to learn my lessons in living and loving someone diagnosed with Dementia/ Alzheimer's; if I am to get on with my life ... I need to bring this Alzheimer's blog to an end since my writing has been dealing less with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and more with life after Dementia/ Alzheimer's.

Of course, I will always continue to work for and support fair treatment on behalf of people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and may post here from time to time. Also, there are many wonderful posts here through which you may browse.

With this change, I will continue and reinvigorate my "michael a. horvich writes" blog which deals with grieving Gregory's death, life lessons, personal experiences, observations, memoirs, dreams, and humor in essay and poetry, as well as an attempt now and then at sharing a piece of fiction.

Please follow me there by clicking or click the link located on the right side of this page.

Finally, COMMENTS are always important to me and you can still comment on the posts on this blog! CLICK "Comments" and sign in or use "Anonymous." Leave your name or initials if you wish so I'll know it's you? Check the "Notify Me" box to see my reply to you.

Monday, December 7, 2015

"Letting Go" By: Kate Swaffer

I am reproducing my fellow blogger Kate Swaffer's post her in its entirety because it is such a significant piece. Do, however, please visit her site for her many wonderful posts. (Opens in a new window)

Letting go

Slide1One of the biggest challenges for me is letting go of the abilities I once had. Yes, I know it is easy to say, “but you can still do so many things”, but let me just say how devastating it is having to let go of functioning.
I am not talking about physical functioning, as I was and am very used to that happening. Needing reading glasses was the first major step towards that, and possibly giving up playing squash the second!
I’m okay about my hair going grey, I’m okay with my wrinkles that mean I have lived and loved, I’m even reasonably okay living with the ongoing chronic pain of severe arthritis and other chronic conditions.
Accepting that I can no longer manage medication, nor sometimes work out how to get dressed or make a cup of coffee is emotionally debilitating. My maths ability has been impaired for some time, but now, it is so impaired others have talked about it, and suggested to my husband perhaps it is time I let go of doing more things.  Of course, we have had to go through the pain together this weekend, as it had to be brought up…
I find this to be part of the process of letting go of the many things you lose with dementia, but in contrast to when you are letting go of someone you have loved, you still have your functioning and abilities in tact. When you let go of someone who has died, you still have your functioning and abilities in tact. When you lose a job, you still have your functioning and abilities in tact. When you lose friends (except when this happens after a diagnosis of dementia), you still have your functioning and abilities in tact.
If you have ever wondered why people with dementia act in ways that are hard for others to live with, manage, accept, then please think about what it is like for us, the people diagnosed with dementia, who are losing our functioning and abilities. We are changing in ways that you are not, yes, but we are also losing so much of our identity, who we once were, perhaps even who we wanted to become.The future looks grim, and our past, sometimes even this morning or yesterday, is fading, perhaps not even to become a distant memory for some of us.
Letting go is hard to do, especially when you have nothing else to hold onto… or look forward to, which is why it is so very  important to completely ignore Prescribed Disengagement™® , and Live beyond dementia™, for as long as humanly possible.
My Reply: My heart and head cry out loud for you and all others who have gone or are going or will go through this experience. Oh that I could make it all go away, be OK or be better for you, dear friend, like I tried so hard to do for Gregory. There is no way to pet you and say it is OK. It isn't! But know that LOVE does the best it can to replace those losses. LOVE by you and for you. For and from your husband, family, friends, BLOG readers, and so many others whose lives you have affected and influenced and made better!


  1. The very best things turn up when one is looking for something else, which is how I found your blog while looking for instructions on making Touch Quilts.

    After I read part of the beginning, a little of the middle and some of the lastest posts, I realized that I should let you know I am here reading, as if I were in your library having come in through the window, particularly if I am going on to visit your friends' blogs too.

    Thank you for your kind hospitality. I am so sorry for your loss and that of others you mention.

    1. Wow Jean. This is probably the nicest comment I have yet received. I am glad you happened on my blog and that it "speaks" to you. My writing style is that of an "over a cup of coffee" relationship and you seem to have picked that up. I checked out your Secret Seed Scatterer posts as well. Your surroundings seem very tranquil and flowers do "speak" to me, so thank again.


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