PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

The 6 R's

Interesting. Today's DailyOM talks about working through transitions dealing with successful achievements, meeting goals, making big breakthroughs. I would assume much of this has to deal with work or profession oriented successes.

As I read it, I realized that it also applied to me in my transition from Caregiver Partner to Self-Care Principal, from Happily Married Partner to Widow(er,) from living and loving someone who is living with Dementia/ Alzheimer's to just living for myself, to dealing with grief.

In some ways, helping Gregory live a good life until the end was an achievement, both his and mine. In some ways there have been a lot of important lessons and breakthroughs for both of us. What its love? What is death. How can one live gracefully. Why does compassion make the difference? Who can one be in the face of difficult situations and loss?

So the advice that Ms. Taylor gives can also apply to the period after the loss of a loved one, and to grieving. The side effects she talks about are true for me as are the beneficial side effects of being "in-between" life events.

For now, perhaps these six words can guide me as I face living my life without Gregory. They could be called the "6 R's: "Refresh, Regroup, Revitalize, Relax, Reflect, Redefine."

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December 29, 2015
Working through Transitions 
Permission to Simply Beby Madisyn Taylor

During the pause between achievements, many people begin to question what their life is about.

The elation we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a big breakthrough can sometimes be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this period of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next. Many people, during the pause between achievements, begin to wonder what their life is about. These feelings are common and strike everyone from time to time. Human beings are active creatures—we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week, or even a month simply existing and not having a plan. Just be. It won’t be long before you embark upon your next voyage of growth and discovery.

The quiet lull into we which we fall between ideas, projects, and goals can make life seem empty. After accomplishing one objective, you may want to move immediately on to the next. However, when your next step is unclear, you may feel frustrated, disconnected, or even a mild depression. You may even perceive your lack of forward momentum as an indicator of imminent stagnation. To calm these distressing thoughts, try to accept that if your intent is personal growth, you will continue to grow as an individual whether striving for a specific objective or not. Spending time immersed in life’s rigors and pleasures can be a cathartic experience that gives you the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next. You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way.

The mindful transitional pause can take many forms. For some, it can be a period of reflection that helps them understand how their life has unfolded. For others, it can be a period of adjustment, where new values based on recent changes are integrated into daily life. Just because you’re not headed swiftly to a final destination doesn’t mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. The stage between journeys can become a wonderful period of relaxation that prepares you for the path that will soon be revealed to you.

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