PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Past, Present, Future

You've heard that old saw, "There is only now. The past is gone. The future is not yet here. All you really have is today!" I do not mean to diminish the message as I do believe that being in the here and now is very important and all we really have, but ...

During the last two years of Gregory's life, we both really learned more about being in the now. His greatly diminished world at Lieberman was all he had and I believe that he really enjoyed not having to make decisions, the lack of stress, no pressure to perform, and no need to remember. In many ways he had always taken things as they came, didn't worry too much, and had confidence in himself that he would find the way when things got off target or lost but now his life was greatly simplified.

I learned not to spend too much time in the past and to really enjoy our time together at Lieberman as it unfolded. Again, how we spent our time together was diminished but for the most part, when I was able to accept the now, I was able to be in the moment without needing to regret the past or plan for the future.

Now that Gregory is no longer with me, at least physically, all I have of our love and relationship is the past and my memories of the past. Many of these memories are thankfully triggered by photographs. In fact as I have continued to clean out, rearrange, freshen and "re-claim" the condo for myself, I have been coming across more photographs of our time together.

The photographs represent vacations, family events, celebrations, holidays, and sometimes just posing in love. I have scanned some of these early, 36mm photos and am posting them here.

Of course I have  a now and I will have a future. I am not putting too much pressure on myself to discover there future right now but rather to just let it unfold as it chooses. My future is based on all who I have been and all that I currently am and I hope that as I arrive at who I will be, that it is (as Gregory and I are found of saying)"More Than Ever."

2635 Poplar, Evanston

 On brother Mark's boat

 In Roscoe, Chicago apartment

 At Mark & Diane's home in Goldwater, MI

Christmas with Mark & Diane and family in Goldwater, MI

In apartment on Roscoe Avenue in Chicago

2643 Poplar in Evanston

We built a Jewish holiday "Sukkoth" at 2643 Poplar in Evanston

2635 Poplar, Evasnton

Vacation in Jamaica

2643 Poplar, Evanston

Goldwater, Mi at Mark & Diane's 
Chicago Botanic Garden

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