During the last two years of Gregory's life, we both really learned more about being in the now. His greatly diminished world at Lieberman was all he had and I believe that he really enjoyed not having to make decisions, the lack of stress, no pressure to perform, and no need to remember. In many ways he had always taken things as they came, didn't worry too much, and had confidence in himself that he would find the way when things got off target or lost but now his life was greatly simplified.
I learned not to spend too much time in the past and to really enjoy our time together at Lieberman as it unfolded. Again, how we spent our time together was diminished but for the most part, when I was able to accept the now, I was able to be in the moment without needing to regret the past or plan for the future.
Now that Gregory is no longer with me, at least physically, all I have of our love and relationship is the past and my memories of the past. Many of these memories are thankfully triggered by photographs. In fact as I have continued to clean out, rearrange, freshen and "re-claim" the condo for myself, I have been coming across more photographs of our time together.
The photographs represent vacations, family events, celebrations, holidays, and sometimes just posing in love. I have scanned some of these early, 36mm photos and am posting them here.
Of course I have a now and I will have a future. I am not putting too much pressure on myself to discover there future right now but rather to just let it unfold as it chooses. My future is based on all who I have been and all that I currently am and I hope that as I arrive at who I will be, that it is (as Gregory and I are found of saying)"More Than Ever."