PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Monday, November 23, 2015

Yoga for Loss and Grieving: Session 2 - A Place Called Peace:

I am now participating in my third round of Yoga/Meditation practices class with Corinne Peterson.

Today in session two of round 3, during our guided Resting Yoga Nidra meditation, we once again revisited our "Internal Resource." It is a place created in our imagination, in our mind, where we can go to feel peace, to escape to if we feel fear or upset during the meditation. It can be a place of refuge we can take a few minutes to visit whenever in life we feel sad or in need of a sense of peace.

Here is an excerpt from the post dealing with my "Internal Resource" post during a previous round of classes: 

I revisited my Inner Resource, the place I have created in my mind where I feel secure, to which I can return at any time during the yoga practice or in my life when feeling over stressed, overwhelmed, or just in need of some peace and quiet.

I previously started out describing my Inner Resource as deep in a mature forest, with a clearing with dappled sunlight and flowers.

This time I added quite a few things to the image. Just across a path, I added a tiny one room cabin just big enough in which for me to live, in my mind, comfortably and simply with knowing how much is enough.

Next I added a rustic bench to the garden so I could sit and meditate and enjoy the flowers, the sunlight, and perhaps the mist dripping of the leaves during a rainstorm.

Later I added, about a block away at the edge of the forest, the ocean with waves that can be heard through the house's windows or while sitting in the garden.

Corinne suggested we give our internal resource a name so we can use it as a trigger to the inner peace and safety one feels there. I simply called it, "Peace."

Here is an excerpt from the next post dealing with my "Internal Resource" post during a previous round of classes: 

This time while visiting my Inner Resource I added a few more things. While in the cabin I though I sensed a movement or shadow.  First I decided that my RIP cats Mariah and Hoover and Broadway live there. When I visit I know they are asleep under the bed, or playing out in the forest, or whatever I want to imagine them doing.

Then I realized that my mother, the anniversary of her death coming up in less than a month, was there in the house with me. I decided that my "safe place" could also be a place where I could invite in and visit with family and friends who have died and whom I still hold in my heart.

It may feel a little strange to you, my looking forward to talking with the dead, but it makes me feel warm, and loved and will give me the ability to talk about things that I never had the chance to say while they were alive.

I went into today's session without any expectations, so what happened was surprise.

First during our stretching, when I was reaching out and upward with both arms I felt like I was opening myself up and searching for something. Not sure what I was looking for, I just stayed with the feeling and found myself crying silently with tears rolling down my face.

Next, today's visit to my "Inner Resource" was just as peaceful as it had been previously. 

This time I stayed in the little cabin remembering that I had previously visited with our RIP cats, Mariah most recently (RIP) and my mom (RIP.)

Then I decided that I could "conjure" Gregory to join us. At first I pictured him on the comfortable, cozy, quilt covered cot, sleeping on his back. I did not like this image because that is how I last saw him in his bed at Lieberman after he had died.

So I turned him on his right side (in my mind's eye) thinking that he had not been able to do that for himself for close to two years. Before I knew it, my picture (without my thinking about it) had Mariah (RIP) curled up in the crook of his knee.

Next I climbed in with them, with Gregory "spooning" me. For most of his last year at home, I would "spoon" him with my arm around him sending my protection towards him.

I enjoyed the image and the experience but began to wonder if I was just being creative or if there was something deeper in my ability to conjure him into the cabin and the scene which was unfolding.

Without my needing to do much thinking I realized that his arm was around me as he was sending protection towards me in his embrace. I didn't really have to imagine his arm around me, it just was there.

After spending some time with Gregory, as Corinne began the "gently begin to return to the room and be aware of your surroundings,' the tears flowed freely. The experience was moving, emotional, and intense.

I had not expect something this "big" to happen so maybe that is why it did. Either way, I will not question it too deeply, but just enjoy having had the experience and know that I can go back there anytime I choose.

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