FOR GREGORY

Periodically I will add posts here if the sources provide additioanl informaiton on how to think about and deal with Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease.

PLEASE NOTE:


SCROLL DOWN FOR TEXT and BIBLIOGRAPHY from DAI WEBINAR 2/22-23/2017. You can also find this information on my website: www.horvich.com


Even though this blog is now dormant (see info below) there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. My guess is that you could spend a lot of time here and maybe learn or experience a thing or two about living with and loving someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's or maybe come away with the feeling that "you are not alone" in YOUR work with the same!


• • • • •


THIS WAS THE FINAL POST TO THIS SITE BEFORE IT WENT DORMANT.


Happy New Year 2016. With a new year comes new beginnings and sometimes endings. If I am personally progressing and if I am doing a good job in my grieving Gregory's death; if I have been able to learn my lessons in living and loving someone diagnosed with Dementia/ Alzheimer's; if I am to get on with my life ... I need to bring this Alzheimer's blog to an end since my writing has been dealing less with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and more with life after Dementia/ Alzheimer's.


Of course, I will always continue to work for and support fair treatment on behalf of people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and may post here from time to time. Also, there are many wonderful posts here through which you may browse.


With this change, I will continue and reinvigorate my "michael a. horvich writes" blog which deals with grieving Gregory's death, life lessons, personal experiences, observations, memoirs, dreams, and humor in essay and poetry, as well as an attempt now and then at sharing a piece of fiction.


Please follow me there by clicking http://mhorvich.blogspot.com or click the link located on the right side of this page.


Finally, COMMENTS are always important to me and you can still comment on the posts on this blog! CLICK "Comments" and sign in or use "Anonymous." Leave your name or initials if you wish so I'll know it's you? Check the "Notify Me" box to see my reply to you.



Friday, February 14, 2014

Happy Valentine's Day


This will be the first Valentine's Day in 39 years that I have not planned something special for Gregory. No, I am lying. Yesterday I discovered a new bakery near Lieberman called "Nothing Bundt Cakes." They sell bundt shaped cup cakes called buntinys, individual cakes called bundtettes, and small-medium-and large bundt cakes. Every day they offer approximately one dozen different flavors.

So I bought a chocolate, chocolate chip bundt cake to take to Gregory when I visit today. I will also pick up one red rose for him. He will be with Manny from 11:30 - 4:30 (his new helper) but I will drop by around 3:00 to spend an hour with him.

Last night I had an awareness, maybe because I had been thinking about Valentine's Day. The awareness is that I LOVE GREGORY. I had an image of him bearly able to smile at seeing me, sitting in his oversized wheel chair, tipped back for comfort, neck pinched to the left (PT is working on this,) having just been cleaned up from a pee and poop in his pants, food stain on his shirt, too large blue jeans, hands trembling, dozing on and off while I offered him a piece of broken in half animal cookie and some milk in a box through a straw.

I love this man as he is. I no longer love him as he was because that is no longer what he is. In fact, to help keep my emotions in tow, I have not been allowing myself to think too much about the past, about the wonderful times, about our wonderful relationship. I have been working very hard to remain here and now, in the present, in the moment in fact.

And I realized that I love this shell of a man, this remnant of a man, this handicapped man, this mentally deficient man. I love my Gregory with all my heart. No matter how much of him is gone, I love him even more. Maybe MORE THAN EVER!

What is it that I love about him, I do not know for sure. But the essence of the man I have loved for over 39 years still exists in him and in me. The love and dedication and support and loyalty and responsibility we had for each other continues as long as I am able to hold up my half of the bargain. Happy Valentine's Day Gregory. I Love You!

1 comment:

  1. Just wanted to say I read you Valentine's Day post. I so completely understand your feelings for Gregory, now and then. These words of feelings so resonate with me though I doubt I would be able to express them so beautifully and clearly as you have. I admire your trying to stay in the moment and appreciate and reflect on the love you have for G. There will be plenty of time later to reflect on the past years and appreciate what was then. Few people find this kind of love in their life. We are the lucky ones. Happy belated Valentine's Day.
    A

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