FOR GREGORY

Periodically I will add posts here if the sources provide additioanl informaiton on how to think about and deal with Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease.

PLEASE NOTE:


SCROLL DOWN FOR TEXT and BIBLIOGRAPHY from DAI WEBINAR 2/22-23/2017. You can also find this information on my website: www.horvich.com


Even though this blog is now dormant (see info below) there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. My guess is that you could spend a lot of time here and maybe learn or experience a thing or two about living with and loving someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's or maybe come away with the feeling that "you are not alone" in YOUR work with the same!


• • • • •


THIS WAS THE FINAL POST TO THIS SITE BEFORE IT WENT DORMANT.


Happy New Year 2016. With a new year comes new beginnings and sometimes endings. If I am personally progressing and if I am doing a good job in my grieving Gregory's death; if I have been able to learn my lessons in living and loving someone diagnosed with Dementia/ Alzheimer's; if I am to get on with my life ... I need to bring this Alzheimer's blog to an end since my writing has been dealing less with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and more with life after Dementia/ Alzheimer's.


Of course, I will always continue to work for and support fair treatment on behalf of people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and may post here from time to time. Also, there are many wonderful posts here through which you may browse.


With this change, I will continue and reinvigorate my "michael a. horvich writes" blog which deals with grieving Gregory's death, life lessons, personal experiences, observations, memoirs, dreams, and humor in essay and poetry, as well as an attempt now and then at sharing a piece of fiction.


Please follow me there by clicking http://mhorvich.blogspot.com or click the link located on the right side of this page.


Finally, COMMENTS are always important to me and you can still comment on the posts on this blog! CLICK "Comments" and sign in or use "Anonymous." Leave your name or initials if you wish so I'll know it's you? Check the "Notify Me" box to see my reply to you.



Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Change

It is a new kind of sadness, grieving, despair.
Fear of the future and my ability to support him are gone.
Frustrations at his continued inabilities are left behind.
Anger of how his needs are changing my life do not exist.

At Lieberman Center his needs are being met
Although never as well as I was able to meet them.
I was always there for him when he needed me.
Now he waits, in a wet diaper, for the aide to arrive

I go to visit, to hold his hand, to read aloud
At meals I help him cut his food or manage his fork
I rub his neck and his swollen ankles,
And then an hour or two later, I go home.

He continues to live in the moment there
Seems to be enough, and he is content again.
He has never asked why or when or what or where.
The narrow world that is now his life, his home

The minutes, to me, seem to go so slowly
But his days pass easily and without variation.
The place through my eyes is painful to witness
He doesn't seem to notice the difference.

And then the fall and the eight staples in his head.
And the pain in his back and neck from the fall.
And the Grand Mal Seizure with its hospital stay.
But he doesn't complain, or cry, or need.

And the raised rails on his lowered bed,
And the increased difficulty moving around
And the need for the wheel chair to get around
But he doesn't resent, or anger, or demand.

So, it is a new kind of sadness, grieving, despair.
Fear of the future and my ability to support him are gone.
Frustrations at his continued inabilities are left behind.
Anger of how his needs are changing my life do not exist.

Now, with most of my previous emotions put to rest;
Fear, frustration, anger, resentment,
My sadness and grief and despair
Can be more purely felt and therefore more strongly.

All I can do now is wait, patiently wait.
Wait for the end of life to arrive.
His blessed end,
or mine.


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