PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

My blogger friend Kate's husband was quoted recently on her blog Click to see Kate's Blog (opens in a new window)

Worrying is part of the territory… But don’t take your worry away,              by taking their life away.
  (Peter Watt, 2015)

My reply follows: Wow Kate. You tell it like it is and you are on target. I would let Gregory go on walks alone. People would ask, "Don't you worry about him getting lost." And I would reply, "Of course, I worry. I love him don't I?" 

But my resolve was to let him go on his walks until one day he was brought home, lost, by the police. I also had "mapping" put on his cell phone (like parents can do for their teens) and always made sure before he left that it was in his pocket and turned on. 

On the other hand, he and I decided together that he would stop driving because that would endanger no only him but others. And besides we love being together so much and I never minded being the "designated driver" like he used to do for me when we went to parties and I got to drink:-) He never took "giving up driving" as a loss of his masculinity as so many men do. 

In the long run, Gregory's decline, when well into the tenth year after his diagnosis, was so dramatic during the last year, then the last month, then the last week ... that many of the things I worried about never happened. That convinced me that worrying is not worth the energy. TRYING to not worry expends unnecessary energy as well.  

Do what you can in preparation for the future, research your alternatives, act intelligently and wisely ... but do not worry. Serves no purpose.

Instead of "worrying" Gregory and I decided to put our faith in knowing that we would know what to do when the time came. And we did, and even though we would not have ordered it this way, things are turning out well.

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