Drive All Suffering Into One’s Ego

Drive All Suffering Into One’s Ego
Original teaching by Pema Chödrön
February 2013 in honor of her 77^th birthday

Reinterpreted by Michael Horvich August 2013

It is hard to separate one’s ego from what one thinks of as one’s self. So this is not about blaming oneself for one’s suffering but rather one’s ego which controls self. One can do this by distinguishing between what is causing you to suffer and what is the trigger. What is the difference between the two? The cause and the catalyst.

We have preexisting propensities which are like seeds stored in the unconscientious. One acts in the same predictable way as though it is a rut one is stuck in. Someone says something that hurts your feelings for example, and it triggers a predetermined propensity to feel bad, even if what the person says is not true. Just seeing that person or remembering what they said can trigger the suffering. The person is NOT the cause, the person is the trigger.

If you want to wake up, be free of suffering, what must you learn then? You need to work with the propensity NOT the trigger. It is so easy for our attention to go to the thing which triggered the feeling not the cause of the feeling. Triggers activate preexisting propensities. One needs to look closely at the cause, at the preexisting propensity, NOT the trigger.

Often the trigger is no longer valid or in reality is not about the suffering anymore but it none-the-less triggers the preexisting propensity.

We cannot get rid of the triggers until we have studied the propensities. By allowing the triggers to “get you” you, you strengthen the propensity. Distinguish what triggers your suffering from your preexisting propensity and you weaken its power over you.

To work on this, don’t blame the propensity, recognize it and acknowledge it and be conscientious that the preexisting propensity continues to affect your suffering. It is a HUGE step when you can distinguish between the trigger and the propensity.

Let the story line go as you would do when meditating. In meditation you are focused on your breath, you have a thought, you note or recognize it, you go back to focusing on your breath. You do not have to act on your thought or give in to it. You do not have to fight it, repress it or ignore it. Just note it, recognize it, go back to your focus.

The same can be done when a someone or something triggers a pre-existing propensity. Label the feeling (propensity) when it occurs. Locate the pain that leads to the propensity. When you locate the pain, send your unconditional love. Do not blame the propensity, send love. Do not be harsh or repressive against the feeling or yourself. Use a hand gesture to the heart or the cheek as a way of sending it love. Most propensities are based on fear, fear of danger. The way to work with the fear is to help it relax by sending unconditional love.

By recognizing the propensities that are triggered and then sending unconditional love and comfort to the propensity you will help it to relax and loose its strength over you and eventually the suffering it causes.