FOR GREGORY. He was not a VICTIM of ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, he was a HERO!

PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Grace and Frankie


Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin co-star as two women forced to reinvent their lives in this funny, honest new Netflix Original series. Elegant, proper Grace and freewheeling, eccentric Frankie aren't friends, even though their husbands Robert and Sol (Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston) have been law partners for decades. But when Robert and Sol announce that they're leaving their wives for each other, the two women start to bond in ways they never expected.
I am watching this Netflix series and loving it. The homosexuality of Robert and Sol are accepted as the norm and the emotions that all four characters are going through are real, raw, and honest. There are many tender moments between the male couple and between the new relationship of the ex-wives, as well as the original married couples. Often these tender moments bring tears.
But besides loving it, I am having some problems. So here I sit, with tears in my eyes not because of Grace and Frankie or Robert and Sol but because of Gregory and Michael. I am yet again grieving my loss, my loneliness, my aloneness. 
As an older couple (in their 70's?) the men share moments of truth and honesty, of anger and love, of dealing with the complexity of their new relationship and of life itself. Those moments for the most part are over for Gregory and me. Our interactions are loving and beautiful, the are meaningful and honest, but they hold no depth of today only depth of spirit and love.
And I miss being able to sit on the sofa with Gregory supporting my tears, or making me laugh, or being able to spoon or hold hands as we drift off to sleep. So I take my tears away from the TV and out onto the balcony where I sit in the wonderfully spring into summer 70 degree air at sunset. And I look at the other chair next to the table and I cry. And I am lonely. And I miss my honey being here with me at home. And what is home without someone to share it with after 40+ years of love?

3 comments:

  1. Awwwwww <3 I'm lonely and sad too. You are not alone <3

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  2. I'm trying a different way of commenting... I'm so sorry for your tears Michael. You are a beautiful human being <3

    I wrote about tears here a long time ago. I think you might like the post: http://amazingwomenrock.com/the-tracks-of-my-tears

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    Replies
    1. I read the post and poem and listened to the song. I am not afraid to cry and I too cry for joy as well as sorrow, beauty as well as suffering, life as well as death. Emotions I know are a barometer of how I am doing in life but these are tears of despair that periodically raise up when I once again grieve my loss and the changes that Alzheimer's has showered on me. I also see the blessings that Alzheimer's has showered on me but now I am only wet :-)

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