Milestones

Often times milestones mark achievements and celebration. I am sad to report that the milestone Gregory and I reached tonight is not cause for celebration.

We were watching a movie and I noticed that he was becoming agitated. Nothing about the movie would have caused that. I asked, "Are you OK." And he said he was not. "What's the matter?" He didn't know. I made my usual suggestion, "Do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"Maybe," he said and got up. "Where?"

"Go to the bathroom." He left the room while I took a few more seconds to stop the video. I followed him into the bedroom where he was standing holding his penis. "Pull your pants down and go sit down." He didn't know what to do so I moved him into the bathroom and as I started to help him pull down his pants, releasing his penis, he began to pee. On himself. On the floor. On me.

He was very sorry and very apologetic. I was very soothing and calm and loving. He finished peeing in the toilet and I began to clean up the floor, took his pants and slippers off, and wiped up his leg. He apologized again and I told him it was nothing to be sorry about, just that there were implications involved. "You didn't recognize the "feeling" as an urge to go to the bathroom?" I asked/stated.

"I guess so," he answered. For a while now when I sensed he was upset about something I sent him to the bathroom and he was surprised that he had to take a dump. This is the first time that urination was the culprit. Also he had waited so long that he had the "accident."

The implications are my needing to be more alert to his changing mood, might need to check every hour or so by asking and/or sending him to the bathroom, might need to begin using what I called "Protection Pants." You get the drift of my euphemism.

All I can say, is that reporting this here is helping me get through my numbness, should help you to keep up with our "progress," and is part of my continuing open and honest (if not brutal) documentation of our journey.

Honestly, I am so sad and numb and worried about the future that I don't know what to do.  Tomorrow we are/were excited about a Wagner opera: 1:40 Act 1, 30 minute intermission, 1:05 Act 2, 30 minute intermission, and 1:10 Act 3, then the drive home. There is a handicapped bathroom on the main floor (where we are sitting) so I will just have to be super alert.

Meanwhile, for tonight, maybe a short TV show in favor of abandoning the long movie and some popcorn?