Hurtful Words

When Gregory is having a lot of trouble with getting dressed in the morning, in my frustration I sometimes take over, fully dressing him. Most of the time I am able to do it lovingly but now and then I am mean. I tell him, "I learned how to do this when I worked in the hospital with sick and dying people."

I say it in an even voice but still, the words are hurtful (at least I think they are to him and I know for sure they are to me.) "Isn't it good that I know how to do this? Sick and dying people need lots of help. I am happy to help."

I took a close look at why I need at times to say this. Maybe I am setting myself up for Gregory's eventual death and to cope with his dying a little bit every day, every minute. You know the expression "24/7/365?" I have a new one for Alzheimer's 

"DEATH24/7/365/DEATH"