Christmas Sadness

Today was to be the day for decorating the condo for Christmas but.. ..A
How can one find the love, joy, and magic in things Christmas.............L
When the only feeling available to me is sadness knowing....................Z
That the prospect for the sadness to change doesn't...............................H
Seem to exist any more as his abilities...................................................E
Continue to slowly disintegrate into.......................................................I
Confusion, frustration and finally...........................................................M
As we welcome death as.........................................................................E
A way back to peace................................................................................R
And quiet and.......................................................................................... '
Rest..........................................................................................................S

After a difficult morning,
Gregory asked,
"When will you be able to have a little time to yourself?"
Michael replied,
"Never again, to be honest."

GONE:
•Unable to identify when he needs to go to the bathroom.
•Unable to identify verbally whether he urinated, defecated, both, or neither.
•Unable to clean up after defecating or messing self.
•Unable to shower by himself.
•Setting up tooth brush with tooth paste.
•Unable to navigate a plate of food.
•Unable to automatically identify and use a knife, fork, and/or spoon.
•Ability to pick out clothes.
•Ability to zip up jacket.
•Ability to answer a phone.
•Ability to help make bed.
•Ability to understand the mechanics of reading a book.
•Helping with any household tasks.
•Being by himself outside of the condo.
•Being by himself inside the condo.
...and more

ALMOST GONE:
•Comprehension of all types: TV show, musical, theater, book, verbal exchange.
•Use of fork to scoop, spear, or cut.
•Correct orientation of shirt and pants when getting dressed.
•Putting on belt and hitting all loops.
•Following simple directions of any type.
•Turning on light switch.
•Remembering to put on face cream and deodorant.
•Showering self.
•Follow through when understanding what to do without instant forgetting.
•Folding laundry. No longer can do underpants and nightshirts. Sometimes not undershirts.
•Taking garbage and/or recycle to the room at the end of the common hall.
...and more

STILL PRESENT:
•Saying "I love you."
•Sleeping through the night.
•Brushing teeth when tooth paste is applied to brush for him.
•Doesn't mess pants too often.
•Laughs.
•Enjoys being with friends.
•Seems to enjoy movies, TV, theater, etc.
•Swimming.
•Long walks.
•Socially appropriate behavior.
•Calm and content.
...and more