S-POPS

This has been going on for a while but seems here to stay so I thought I would post about it. Gregory has developed the Sandwich Perception and Orientation Problems Syndrome. If I were a doctor I could coin the name S-POPS and become famous. The symptoms present themselves in Gregory's being unable to orient a sandwich correctly to efficiently get it into his mouth for a bite.

Imagine eating a hot dog. One tips one's head left or right while holding the hot dog parallel to the plate and bites from one end towards the other end. Thus the mustard and especially the onions and pickle relish stay on the dog during the biting process.

Next picture a cheese berger. The round bun, containing the beef and condiments, can be held at 90 degrees to the plate as the bites take place and chances are the bun will hold the contents in place.

Both above scenarios present only minor problems if one is seated at a table and can hold the said sandwich over a plate. If items fall off onto the plate, they can be picked up with your fingers (even though the fork is sitting at the right of the plate) and consumed without much problem.

More perplexing is when the long, cylindrical hot dog type sandwich or the round burger type sandwich (or for that matter the square Wonder Bread type sandwich) are aimed toward the mouth at an impossible angle for not only 1) condiment maintenance but also for 2) basic biting.

The biggest problem by far comes when trying to eat a sandwich in the car. Sometimes the wrapper snuggled around the bottom of the burger like a diaper on a baby's bottom will help, but not always especially if the angle of sandwich presentation is plus/minus the required parallel or 90 degree angle.

Possible solutions: Do not eat in the car. Wear a bib. Don't notice the difficulty and drive bravely forward.