PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Appendectomy With An Awareness

This took place last Tuesday, September 8.

The severe pain started at 10:00 Tuesday night. I took myself to ER at 3:00 Wednesday morning. Had surgery by 9:00.

God Son Isaac sat with me during recovery. Jan, his mom/my friend, dropped by to spell him. Slept fairly well. Came home Thursday by 10:00 driven home by Manny. 

Doing fairly well and taking it easy at home. Amazing what they can do now-a-days. EVERY doctor, nurse, aide, staff member at Evanston Hospital was cheery, friendly, helpful, caring.

The food was horrible: sewer water chicken soup, oily red jello, bitter tasteless coffee. 

The great timing of all this is that I was due to fly to Portland to visit friend Pat on Wednesday. Can you imagine how this would have come down if I was on the airplane or even in a new city without my own home for comfort? I am grateful to the Universe. 

Given the situation, and my staying low key, I haven't visited with Gregory since last Tuesday, some 5 days ago. In debating whether or not to visit today (still feeling a little stomachy and nauseous) I realized that I constantly think about him non-stop. Even thought we are not living together, his presence is with me emotionally, physically, and intellectually.

I know that he is in good hands with Lieberman and Manny and Halina. The reality is that after five days he may not remember me or think about me as I do him. I'm not saying that he does't know who I am anymore, but without the trigger of seeing me, I am probably not part of his awareness. 

This led me to the realization that I NEED him MORE than he NEEDS me! Interesting. As long as he is happy, content, safe, well fed, kept clean, and somewhat entertained ... his life is full and he is OK. 

I am the one who suffers when we do not see each other. Not really sure what all this means so will have to think more about it. But an interesting awareness don't you agree?


  1. My thoughts:

    I think it may APPEAR that he doesn't need you as much as you need him. But I think appearances are often deceiving.

    I think that you contribute to his overall well-being more than you can you can know and more than can be measured.

    When I was away for 5 days in July, two of the caregivers remarked how Mom was "just not herself, almost like she was depressed." Just because he may not recognize you on an outward level does not mean he does not feel and become energized by your deep connection when you are together.

    I know Mom benefits more from our time together than anyone could ever measure. If not for me, she wouldn't survive. I firmly believe that.


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