During the session on Thursday with my Psychologist, I mused about dichotomies.
How can I feel so joyful and so sad at the same time. So contented and disoriented? So calm and so crazy?
How can I be enjoying being in the condo by myself, making all life decisions by myself, and sleeping so comfortably all night while missing the heck out of Gregory being next to me in the TV room, deciding together where to go for dinner, and sleeping lightly next to him in bed ready to monitor any night time needs?
How can I be feeling so strangely contented and so deeply devastated?
My therapist replied to my question of how I can be feeling such extremes at the SAME TIME saying something like this, "Michael, I would call that wisdom. Most people do not realize that joy and sorrow, for example, are the same emotion just opposite ends. Emotions are not good or bad. One is not bad and the other good. They both walk hand in hand. When one is able to keep the balance of those emotions more closely embraced in the center of their being, they are able to function in life more easily. This is not to undermine or diminish your loss with Gregory's changes but to recognize your strength and ability to carry on, which in the long term also benefits Gregory!"
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