FOR GREGORY

Periodically I will add posts here if the sources provide additioanl informaiton on how to think about and deal with Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease.

PLEASE NOTE:


SCROLL DOWN FOR TEXT and BIBLIOGRAPHY from DAI WEBINAR 2/22-23/2017. You can also find this information on my website: www.horvich.com


Even though this blog is now dormant (see info below) there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. My guess is that you could spend a lot of time here and maybe learn or experience a thing or two about living with and loving someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's or maybe come away with the feeling that "you are not alone" in YOUR work with the same!


• • • • •


THIS WAS THE FINAL POST TO THIS SITE BEFORE IT WENT DORMANT.


Happy New Year 2016. With a new year comes new beginnings and sometimes endings. If I am personally progressing and if I am doing a good job in my grieving Gregory's death; if I have been able to learn my lessons in living and loving someone diagnosed with Dementia/ Alzheimer's; if I am to get on with my life ... I need to bring this Alzheimer's blog to an end since my writing has been dealing less with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and more with life after Dementia/ Alzheimer's.


Of course, I will always continue to work for and support fair treatment on behalf of people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and may post here from time to time. Also, there are many wonderful posts here through which you may browse.


With this change, I will continue and reinvigorate my "michael a. horvich writes" blog which deals with grieving Gregory's death, life lessons, personal experiences, observations, memoirs, dreams, and humor in essay and poetry, as well as an attempt now and then at sharing a piece of fiction.


Please follow me there by clicking http://mhorvich.blogspot.com or click the link located on the right side of this page.


Finally, COMMENTS are always important to me and you can still comment on the posts on this blog! CLICK "Comments" and sign in or use "Anonymous." Leave your name or initials if you wish so I'll know it's you? Check the "Notify Me" box to see my reply to you.



Saturday, April 18, 2015

Emotions and Living with Uncertainty

This post deals with difficult, crippling emotions which bring suffering with them: like anger, fear, pain, regret, sorrow. Other emotions like love, joy, happiness are a different story and do not bring suffering with them.

In My Stroke of Insight, the brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor’s book about her recovery from a massive stroke, she explains the physiological mechanism behind emotion: an emotion like anger that’s an automatic response lasts just ninety seconds from the moment it’s triggered until it runs its course. One and a half minutes, that’s all. When it lasts any longer, which it usually does, it’s because we’ve chosen to rekindle it. (Again, Ms. Taylor is talking about difficult, painful emotions.)

Acknowledge the feeling, give it your full, compassionate, even welcoming attention, and even if it’s only for a few seconds, drop the story line (past fears, experiences, or expectations) about the feeling. This allows you to have a direct experience of it, free of interpretation. Don’t fuel it with concepts or opinions about whether it’s good or bad. Just be present with the sensation. Where is it located in your body? Does it remain the same for very long? Does it shift and change?

The challenge is to notice the emotional tug when it arises and to stay with it for one and a half minutes without the story line. Do this once a day or many times throughout the day as the emotions arise. This is the process of unmasking, letting go, opening the mind and heart.

Before long you be able to use your emotions as a barometer, a measure of where you are, what you are thinking, what you are dealing with. As you unmask the emotions you will be able to work through them and get on with your life instead of letting the difficult emotions cripple you.

When difficult emotions arise; welcome them, bless them, sit with them briefly and experience the pure emotion fully. Then send them on their way; hopefully with a feeling of peace and eventually with the feeling of a new gained ability to live your life without the suffering that emotions can bring if you hang on to them, rekindle them.

(P.S. Another thing I sometimes do is welcome the emotions but let them know that I do not have the time now to sit with them, and invite them to come back at another time. You'll be amazed at how quickly the minute and a half passes without your being swept up in the emotions so you can continue to experience and enjoy the more important parts of your life. But do remember to invite the emotions back at another time instead of just postponing and avoiding them!)

(Taken in part from Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change by Pema Chödrön.)

1 comment:

  1. Absolutely bang on Michael! I have found the key is to feel emotions fully, no matter what they are. When I laugh, I laugh out loud. When I cry, it's pockets of tears. Human beings are emotional creatures, I think it's best to let that emotion course through our veins and fuel our experience. Great post.

    Here are two posts about the emotions associated with my journey with Mom, one "positive" and the other "challenging":

    http://myalzheimersstory.com/2014/02/27/5-uplifting-emotions-felt-by-alzheimers-dementia-caregivers/

    http://myalzheimersstory.com/2014/02/26/5-raw-emotions-alzheimers-dementia-caregivers-feel-every-day/

    Love and hugs to you and Gregory on this fine spring day XOX

    ReplyDelete

Comments are always welcome. You are appreciated! If you do not have a sign-in on any of the accounts below ... use ANONYMOUS. All comments are moderated and will appear as appropriate. Thanks. Please, keep commenting!