FOR GREGORY

Periodically I will add posts here if the sources provide additioanl informaiton on how to think about and deal with Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease.

PLEASE NOTE:


SCROLL DOWN FOR TEXT and BIBLIOGRAPHY from DAI WEBINAR 2/22-23/2017. You can also find this information on my website: www.horvich.com


Even though this blog is now dormant (see info below) there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. My guess is that you could spend a lot of time here and maybe learn or experience a thing or two about living with and loving someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's or maybe come away with the feeling that "you are not alone" in YOUR work with the same!


• • • • •


THIS WAS THE FINAL POST TO THIS SITE BEFORE IT WENT DORMANT.


Happy New Year 2016. With a new year comes new beginnings and sometimes endings. If I am personally progressing and if I am doing a good job in my grieving Gregory's death; if I have been able to learn my lessons in living and loving someone diagnosed with Dementia/ Alzheimer's; if I am to get on with my life ... I need to bring this Alzheimer's blog to an end since my writing has been dealing less with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and more with life after Dementia/ Alzheimer's.


Of course, I will always continue to work for and support fair treatment on behalf of people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and may post here from time to time. Also, there are many wonderful posts here through which you may browse.


With this change, I will continue and reinvigorate my "michael a. horvich writes" blog which deals with grieving Gregory's death, life lessons, personal experiences, observations, memoirs, dreams, and humor in essay and poetry, as well as an attempt now and then at sharing a piece of fiction.


Please follow me there by clicking http://mhorvich.blogspot.com or click the link located on the right side of this page.


Finally, COMMENTS are always important to me and you can still comment on the posts on this blog! CLICK "Comments" and sign in or use "Anonymous." Leave your name or initials if you wish so I'll know it's you? Check the "Notify Me" box to see my reply to you.



Sunday, February 8, 2015

Insight or Intuition? Real or Imagined? PART I

Yesterday at Lieberman,Gregory and I were having a happy, loving interaction about nothing in particular. Communication on my part but who knows what he was receiving.

Then he stopped me by grasping my arm and tried to tell me something. Did I have insight into what he was trying to say through his broken comments or was it intuition. Was it imagined or based on my 40 years of knowing him? Based on that experience came this poem:

The Exchange

I don't want to stay, to stay.
I want to see, to see, to see.

A brief flicker of sadness in him
Then his notice of sadness in me

Followed by an apology: I am sorry. I am sorry.
Then my giving permission: Say what you have to.

Really?
Yes.

After the exchange I tried to distract by asking about the good things in our life. Perhaps his positive answers are real or perhaps they are cause/effect of my positive voice or perhaps they are my appropriately forcing the correct answers.

"You really like it here, don't you?" "Yes."
"The people are really nice, aren't they?" "Yes."
"The food is so good, isn't it?" "Yes."
"Manny takes really good care of your, doesn't he?" "Yes."
"Do you feel safe here?" "Oh Yes" (Said with a little added emphasis.)

So insight or intuition? Insight would mean closer to knowing with proof. Intuition would be understanding with heart. Either way I have had to give the experience a lot of thought.

It appears that Gregory is content in his narrow, limited, focused community and life at Lieberman. Up until now I have avoided talking about the past or even saying "I am going home" when I leave. I do not talk about "home" or "the condo" since it is no longer part of his life. I just say, "I am leaving now."

Insight or intuition? Is it fair to keep memories of the past away from Gregory, might he enjoy re-visiting them with my help, or will doing so prove to be too upsetting to him?

Reliving the past is still too upsetting to me when I compare it to the present but perhaps revisiting discrete experiences, like our time in Mexico or a trip to Paris or a party we attended, will be less painful.

Maybe it is time to help Gregory recreate his lost memories. I'll let you know what happens.






No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are always welcome. You are appreciated! If you do not have a sign-in on any of the accounts below ... use ANONYMOUS. All comments are moderated and will appear as appropriate. Thanks. Please, keep commenting!