PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Sunday, November 9, 2014


Gayle lives at Lieberman on the assisted living floor. She and I have crossed paths a number of times on the elevator and I always smile and say hello to her.

Today she was at the Sunday November Birthday Party in the community room sitting not too far away from Gregory, Manny, and me.

She is pleasant enough but approaching her is a little difficult because of her lack of grooming, her being dressed in a night gown instead of something more appropriate to the party, her sad dour look.

I was feeling particularly sad for myself trying to cope with some of the more recent changes Gregory has been going through. Today he was extra quiet, seemed drugged, his neck holding his head at a painfully crooked angle, and his face looking like it was just hanging there.

Manny had tried to prop his head with pillows but instead of Gregory taking the pressure off his neck by leaning on the pillows, he seemed to rather hold it at that awkward angle.

So there I was sitting, holding and stroking Gregory's hand, listening to the singer crooning love songs, with tears running down my eyes.

I looked up and noticed Gayle sitting there looking at us. It seemed as if she had tears in her eyes. I thought to myself, I need to go over and chat with her a little. If I give her some of my love, I might be better able to carry my sorrow.

I walked over to her wheelchair, kneeled down, took her hand and said, "Hi."

She greeted me. "He is so young, you know!" she said about Gregory. "You know I pray for you both every time I see you and your love for each other."

"Sometimes I wonder if there is a God?" she asked.

I thanked her for her prayers and her kind thoughts and tried to cheer her up a little, "Well you know, Gregory is happy and calm and content in his own way. They take very good care of him here. And there is a God if only because of your prayers and smile. We both appreciate that very much."

She smiled back as I took my leave and went back to hold Gregory's hand. It worked. I gave away love and was given love in return, and contentment, and peace.

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