FOR GREGORY. He was not a VICTIM of ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, he was a HERO!

PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty

Gregory and I have been watching all of the episodes from the last seven years of "The Big Bang Theory." Sometimes we watch three for four episodes in one sitting. The show is about a friendship between four young scientists, each of whom is more eccentric than the next. Penny, who lives across the hall, becomes part of their group, and various other characters come and go over the seasons. 

Most often each episode is OVER THE TOP or VERBALLY SEXUALLY EXPLICIT or   SILLY or IRONIC or TOUCHING or ALL OF THE ABOVE put together!

In one episode, Sheldon (who is probably the most neurotic, psychotic, paranoid, self centered, and a general pain in the ass to live with) is sick. He explains to Penny that his mother used to sing "Soft Kitty" to him when he was sick and asks if she would sing it to him.

The beautiful thing about the relationship between all of the characters is that no matter how obnoxious or rude they are to each other and those around them, eventually their love and caring for each other  always shines through.

I find I am greatly attracted to the song and at one point began singing it. Gregory always raises a fuss when I sing the song ... but I sing anyway. I have taken to singing it to him when we go to bed at night. So why am I engaged with this little "jingle?"

I think that at heart, we are all frightened little boys (or girls) looking for someone or something to comfort ourselves. I think that life is overwhelming and often seems out of control and we are looking for a little peace of mind.

In my situation with Gregory, I find that I have no one to comfort me. Apologies to my family and friends reading this. I know that you care, that your are supportive, that you are there for Gregory and me. But when I get really sad, there is no one who can really rock me, hold me, comfort me, let me know everything will be OK, dry my tears; like my Gregory used to ... or my mommy ... but one of them is gone now and one is slowly leaving.

And yet, there is a lot of Gregory still here and even though his Alzheimer's is what is causing my sadness, I do not blame him or love him less. And therefore I guess I comfort myself as I comfort him by singing:

Soft Kitty
Warm Kitty
Little ball of fur
Happy Kitty
Sleepy Kitty
Purr Purr Purr





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