FOR GREGORY

Periodically I will add posts here if the sources provide additioanl informaiton on how to think about and deal with Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease.

PLEASE NOTE:


SCROLL DOWN FOR TEXT and BIBLIOGRAPHY from DAI WEBINAR 2/22-23/2017. You can also find this information on my website: www.horvich.com


Even though this blog is now dormant (see info below) there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. My guess is that you could spend a lot of time here and maybe learn or experience a thing or two about living with and loving someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's or maybe come away with the feeling that "you are not alone" in YOUR work with the same!


• • • • •


THIS WAS THE FINAL POST TO THIS SITE BEFORE IT WENT DORMANT.


Happy New Year 2016. With a new year comes new beginnings and sometimes endings. If I am personally progressing and if I am doing a good job in my grieving Gregory's death; if I have been able to learn my lessons in living and loving someone diagnosed with Dementia/ Alzheimer's; if I am to get on with my life ... I need to bring this Alzheimer's blog to an end since my writing has been dealing less with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and more with life after Dementia/ Alzheimer's.


Of course, I will always continue to work for and support fair treatment on behalf of people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and may post here from time to time. Also, there are many wonderful posts here through which you may browse.


With this change, I will continue and reinvigorate my "michael a. horvich writes" blog which deals with grieving Gregory's death, life lessons, personal experiences, observations, memoirs, dreams, and humor in essay and poetry, as well as an attempt now and then at sharing a piece of fiction.


Please follow me there by clicking http://mhorvich.blogspot.com or click the link located on the right side of this page.


Finally, COMMENTS are always important to me and you can still comment on the posts on this blog! CLICK "Comments" and sign in or use "Anonymous." Leave your name or initials if you wish so I'll know it's you? Check the "Notify Me" box to see my reply to you.



Thursday, April 24, 2014

Here and Now Complications

My life right now, who I am, is so complicated with such mixed emotions. I asked my therapist how I could be feeling such dichotomous emotions and he said the answer is "Wisdom." 
Emotions are not separate but rather opposites along a continuum. In and of themselves, emotions are not good or bad. They just are. To be complete we need to acknowledge all of our emotions while trying to keep them in balance. Allow for happiness. Allow for sadness. Try to stay somewhere in the middle. 
I love my solitude, I miss Gregory. I love having the condo to myself, I wish he was here with me. I like making decisions by myself, I have no one to rely on. I feel such joy at the same time I feel such despair and loneliness.  
If I look through Gregory's eyes, I am at peace. When I look through my own, I am at turmoil. I have always had a life of my own and separate friends and personal goals/ambitions but I would love to be able to share their progress with Gregory like I used to. 
I yearn to cuddle in his arms at bedtime. I miss a good FUCK. I miss a good back rub. I miss sharing my feelings after watching a movie. I miss eating half my dinner at the restaurant and then switching and enjoying the new tastes in his half. I miss his help carrying the groceries in from the car. I miss his company while waiting in the lobby for a doctor's appointment. I miss his patience with me. I miss his supporting and encouraging me to be who I am.
I am doing a fairly good job of living in the here and now like Gregory is doing, know in my heart that HERE and NOW  is all we really have, but find myself wondering if I should be dealing with or thinking about the future. To be honest I cannot imagine a future.

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