Caring for Someone With Incontinence?

I haven't had to deal with this in great detail except when Gregory has been ill but it is good to know. Most likely at some point, we will all have to deal with this. SPOILER: It's a shitty job!

By Ann Cason at www.caring.com

Here's the thing about handling incontinence: It's the turning point upon which many caregivers feel they can no longer look after someone at home, and for some good reasons. Incontinence can be frustrating and difficult to deal with. But at the same time, there are many approaches to coping with incontinence that can make it less awkward and challenging than a beginner first anticipates.

Everybody who's had to change an adult relative's diaper has what I call the what's-a-nice-girl (or boy)-like-me-doing-in-a-situation-like-this moment. You never wanted it to come to this, and here you are. It's hard, but have patience with yourself. After you do it several times, a real sense of intimacy and closeness takes place; it's a good feeling to be helping another human being resolve a basic problem.

To decide whether you can handle incontinence, it's a good idea to explore the options:

1. Talk to a doctor to be sure you're pursuing all the treatment options. Many causes of incontinence are fixable. Treatment ranges from medications and lifestyle changes (such as scheduled bathroom visits) to wearing protective undergarments and covering the bed with waterproof covering.

2. Speak the language of incontinence frankly. Many people try to ignore the subject or use euphemisms, which only makes things more awkward for everyone involved. Better to be matter-of-fact: Everybody spends part of their day urinating and eliminating. As we age, some of us develop problems with our bladder or bowel function. You'll lessen both your embarrassment and that of the person with the trouble if you can remain straightforward and talk about it like the medical issue that it is. It's really a pretty ordinary thing.

3. Go easy on yourself, and give it time. Family caregivers often place high expectations on themselves. They think they have to manage everything perfectly, every time. It can take awhile to get on top of an incontinence situation -- for example, to learn how to clean a person after an accident or for the person to adjust to wearing special protective pull-ups.

4. Get help if you need it. Sometimes there are physical impediments to taking care of someone with incontinence. A person with a bad back or other health condition might need a home attendant to help during certain hours, for example.

5. Realize that sometimes it's not possible for an incontinent person to remain at home, and that's OK.Every care situation is different. A small woman with a large and rambunctious husband with dementia, for example, may not be able to go it alone if she doesn't have his trust and cooperation so that he's willing to sit on the commode while she removes the pull-up, cleans him, and has him step into a fresh one.

Don't think of an alternate living situation as "shoving him off" but as a more positive reality, which is that you're creating a situation in which you're getting someone the help he needs to function safely.

HOW TO HELP SOMEONE CLEAN UP AFTER AN ACCIDENT:

Use the right supplies and a consistent approach. It's important to get the skin both clean and dry after an incidence of bladder or fecal incontinence. Many older people will need help with this because they lack the mobility to do a thorough job, or they may feel embarrassed and want to dispense with the cleanup quickly and ineffectively.

Try storing a cloth bag of supplies in the bathroom, and a second one that you can grab to take with you when you go out (or just stash it in the car). In it, keep:

• Some extra incontinence pull-ups or panties
• Wet wipes (such as children's diaper wipes or other wipes made for the skin)
• A body wash that doesn't have to be rinsed (these can be bought in medical-supply stores or drugstores that carry medical supplies; they often feature aloe vera as an ingredient)
• A washcloth
• Cornstarch or powder (optional)

First, wipe the area clear with the wet wipe. Then partly wet the cloth with warm water and apply some of the rinse-less soap. This product saves you work and time. Pat the area dry with the dry part of the washcloth. Some people like to apply a cornstarch-type powder -- usually sold as baby powder -- to aid drying.

Let the person know what you're doing at each step: "Now I'm going to use a wet wipe." Offer to let them participate, if they can: "Would you like to clean over your privates yourself?" (Go over the area again if necessary.)

Replace with a clean, dry incontinence product.