FOR GREGORY

Periodically I will add posts here if the sources provide additioanl informaiton on how to think about and deal with Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease.

PLEASE NOTE:


SCROLL DOWN FOR TEXT and BIBLIOGRAPHY from DAI WEBINAR 2/22-23/2017. You can also find this information on my website: www.horvich.com


Even though this blog is now dormant (see info below) there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. My guess is that you could spend a lot of time here and maybe learn or experience a thing or two about living with and loving someone with Dementia/Alzheimer's or maybe come away with the feeling that "you are not alone" in YOUR work with the same!


• • • • •


THIS WAS THE FINAL POST TO THIS SITE BEFORE IT WENT DORMANT.


Happy New Year 2016. With a new year comes new beginnings and sometimes endings. If I am personally progressing and if I am doing a good job in my grieving Gregory's death; if I have been able to learn my lessons in living and loving someone diagnosed with Dementia/ Alzheimer's; if I am to get on with my life ... I need to bring this Alzheimer's blog to an end since my writing has been dealing less with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and more with life after Dementia/ Alzheimer's.


Of course, I will always continue to work for and support fair treatment on behalf of people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's and may post here from time to time. Also, there are many wonderful posts here through which you may browse.


With this change, I will continue and reinvigorate my "michael a. horvich writes" blog which deals with grieving Gregory's death, life lessons, personal experiences, observations, memoirs, dreams, and humor in essay and poetry, as well as an attempt now and then at sharing a piece of fiction.


Please follow me there by clicking http://mhorvich.blogspot.com or click the link located on the right side of this page.


Finally, COMMENTS are always important to me and you can still comment on the posts on this blog! CLICK "Comments" and sign in or use "Anonymous." Leave your name or initials if you wish so I'll know it's you? Check the "Notify Me" box to see my reply to you.



Wednesday, January 7, 2015

On Writing, On Life

Interesting that it more difficult to write about interesting, fun, timely things here than it is to write about emotional, difficult, worrisome things on my Alzheimer's BLOG. Guilt plays a role in making me come here when the last post date gets too far for comfort.

"Write everyday if you want to consider yourself a writer." Sit down and write about whatever comes into your head. Use writing motivations to help you get started. Write non-stop for ten minutes about whatever you are thinking about. But that doesn't always work.

For me, writing is a way of processing my life. Understanding it. Sitting with the difficult emotions that arise and seeing what they are telling me. Laughing over the amusing funny things that happen. Wondering about what I see and perceive around me. Thinking about and planing creative ventures and projects.

I was worried about getting through the holiday season this year since it was going to be the first Christmas and New Year's that Gregory and I did not celebrate together in forty years. But then I got to thinking about what a good (relatively) place we are in today compared to the hell our life was last year BL (Before-Lieberman.)

Also, I was able to celebrate with Gregory, just in a different way. I had my meals with him in the Lieberman dining room, we opened gifts, we had a Christmas tree in his room, we watched our usual holiday videos.

So now we are in a new year, a time of resolutions, a time of plans, a time to move forward. But can I do that when in many ways I feel like I am still "on hold" with Gregory as he continues to change and decline.

I visit almost every day for an hour or two and that cheers me up. I am in the process of signing up for Hospice for him which feels empowering to be able to control that part of the future which I am able.

But when I am home I am lonely, miss him so much, and feel lethargic finding  it is easier to not face my creativity, my projects, my day to day life maintenance. Gregory is still a very large part of my life and my focus. I am happy that he is still with me and that he is content, happy, safe, well taken care of.

So you can imagine that most of my writing is directed towards my Alzheimer's BLOG.
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com .

But what about me? Maybe another year will help me feel more my new self and help me get on with life. Maybe another year will help me realize those many projects I have created for myself. Maybe I'll get back into being a Supernumerary for the opera, Ringmaster for Michael's Flea Circus, Curator of a second museum The Small, Writer, Poet, Public Speaker? Maybe I will slowly get used to my life without the old Gregory, the old relationship, the old times together.

Or maybe I'll just continue to post more often on the Alzheimer's BLOG for now and see how life unfolds for me without too much pressure, too much fear, too much regret, too much frustration, too much anger. Maybe LIFE will sneak up and before I notice, I will be the new me?

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