FOR GREGORY. He was not a VICTIM of ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE, he was a HERO!

PLEASE NOTE: Even though this blog is now dormant there are many useful, insightful posts. Scroll back from the end or forward from the beginning. Also, check out my writer's blog. Periodically I will add posts here if they provide additional information about living well with Dementia / Alzheimer's Disease.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

To Every Thing There Is a Season


I have found that with Alzheimer's Disease, to every thing there is NO season. We all have our routines. Most of us circle around our routines with tiny changes here and there. For example, as the seasons change, our routines change. We take longer walks, we dress differently for Summer than we do for Spring. The days are longer, the nights shorter, we sleep differently. We eat differently.
My latest awareness with Gregory and the progress of his dementia is that the seasons will change anyway but he is not be able to change with them. This Spring into Summer he has not been able to gauge what to wear, how to dress based on the temperature outside. The temperature means nothing, the weather forecast means nothing.
Jeans vs shorts, long sleeve vs short sleeve, heavy jacket vs light jacket ... mean nothing. When I suggest he wear an undershirt under his over shirt, the words do not translate. If I try to explain it only complicates things. If I get up and show him, it confuses.
Here I am again at a point where I find myself saying to myself, "I don't know how to do this." The tears are back, the sadness is back, the heaviness is back. I don't know how to do this. There is no answer. I don't know how to do this.
Yesterday, while at a meeting at the museum, I called to see how he was doing. I guess he got through breakfast alright but he answered, "I am not doing well." He sounded like something was terribly wrong. He sounded ill. He sounded distraught. He finally was able to explain (remember language doesn't work too well anymore) that he just didn't know what to put on so he could go out for a walk. I tried to suggest but it only confused. Finally I said, "Honey just put on anything, go outside, and see how it feels."
"I'll figure it out," was his reply. All I could do was tell him I love him, go back to my meeting, and hope for the best.
Just now as I am writing this, he brightly showed up and wished me, "Happy Birthday!"
"Why do you think today is someone's birthday?" I gently asked.
"Did I mess up again?" he wasn't able to explain. 
"What made you think today was a birthday?"
After a thoughtful pause, "Oh, I can't go through all of that."
Turns out he thought it was his birthday (which is 7/4 and today is 6/14) but I am not sure what prompted that.
I think I'll go take a shower and cry.

The lyrics are taken almost verbatim from the Book of Ecclesiastes, as found in the King James Version of the Bible, (Ecclesiastes 3:1) though the sequence of the words was rearranged for the song. Ecclesiastes is traditionally ascribed to King Solomon.

  1. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
  2. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, a time to reap that which is planted;
  3. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
  4. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
  5. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
  6. A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
  7. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
  8. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

With Alzheimers's ... there is only time ...



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