A Technique

These ideas are taken from The Diamond Cutter: The Buddha on Managing your Business and Your Life by Geshe Michael Roach and Lama Christie McNally. Yes another "self help" book. But the concepts discussed within have made sense and have been working for me. The book was recommended by my nephew Mark and I appreciate him for it.

One meditative activity the book talks about is called "Setting the Day with Silent Time." This is my version of setting the day. It actually starts the night before as you are going to sleep by thinking about the best three things you did or said or thought during that day. Then think of the three worst things and forgive yourself. Think ahead to your first waking thoughts and remind yourself to "set the day."

After you have woken up and taken care of your bodily needs, washed your face, etc, go to a quiet place in your home, sit comfortably and concentrate on your breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Deep breaths. Try to count ten of them without allowing yourself to be distracted. If you get distracted try concentrating on the next ten without distraction. It will get easier. If you would like, then try thinking about NOTHING. I continue to concentrate on my breathing but with less focus. Next think about one of the problems you are facing and think about how you might approach it differently then you have in the past. Picture the problem dissolving as you take this different approach.

For me, I have been working on being supportive and loving while in the midst the "CRAZINESS" of Gregory and my interactions which are usually informed and interpreted by his Alzheimer's. My remaining calm, clear, and helpful with a loving supportive voice that is respectful but also helpful and that does not treat him like a child or like less of a person is quite a feat and one that I am not as good at as I would like to be. PATIENCE! in other words.

So I have started "Setting the Day" with a brief meditation and then picturing how I want to behave in the above described situations. I picture myself being calm, helpful, loving, respectful, even voiced. And guess what. Today after a week or so, I began seeing results. It feels good and I am able to stay out of the "bad interaction, anger, guilt, apology" cycle and around and around. Now I will meditate and picture my being able to be automatic MOST of the time as well as forgiving myself when I am not SOME of the time.

Does any of this make sense to you? Try it. Buy the book. Read it.