A Call for Help

DIVISION OF
student affairs

University Career Services

Northwestern University Homepage

Hi. Diane. Good talking with you on the phone, you made me feel very welcome. I will try to describe my vision of what I had in mind and would appreciate your advice completely.

Gregory, my life partner of over 37 years was diagnosed with Young Onset Alzheimer's Disease. We have been coping with this for close to ten years now and while Gregory is still fairly independent, he has begun to fail enough that I feel a "companion" would help to make our life easier. At this point in time he has difficulty with language and cognition. For example I have had to begin helping him put together his breakfasts and sometimes his lunch while at other times he does well by himself. He doesn't always know what clothes to choose to reflect the season or weather. He used to go for long walks by himself, never got lost, but recently got lost in our condo building when trying to return a shopping cart to the lobby. He ended up on the 9th floor. It didn't dawn on him to use his cell phone (which he always wears) to call me. It didn't dawn on him to get back on the elevator and push "L" or "4" which is the floor we live on. Therefore I have been afraid to let him go on walks and he hasn't had the "courage" to initiate a walk for himself. Same with his going swimming in the building health club. I used to be able to send him to Whole Foods with a list of two or three items. No more. I used to be able to spend time curating my Michael's Museum which is now a permanent exhibit at Chicago Children's Museum on Navy Pier and recently have had to take him along every time. I used to be a Supernumerary, acting extra for the Lyric Opera of Chicago. I would make an easy dinner for him to warm in the microwave but do not think that I could leave him home alone now.

So with that description in place, this is my vision. Gregory (and I) need him to have a companion with whom he could spend time while I am away. Sometimes it would be for a few hours and sometimes it would be for a morning, afternoon, and/or evening. They could go places, eat out, see a movie, grocery shop. The student/companion could do his homework while Gregory is working on drawing, napping, or reading. The companion could answer simple questions, give simple directions, help Gregory on the computer, depending on the time of day help with his getting dressed or getting ready for bed. Some help with simple meal preparation might take place - like making a sandwich or salad or warming up a dinner I've prepared. The companion could be more ambitions with meals if he desired. 

The type of person who would be ideal for this position is a gay identified male, intelligent, sensitive to Alzheimer's needs, trustworthy. In turn I could offer an "interesting" experience with a kind, gentle, loving man in a clean, comfortable, attractive, intellectual environment/home setting. We would schedule ahead of time around the student's classes and needs. While this is new for me, I would have to see how to proceed and slowly the student could take on more responsibilities and therefore earn more money as we develop a relationship over time. I could envision a semester, year, and /or college career relationship that is sensitive to the student's academic and personal needs as well. I have no idea how much to pay this person.

Diane, thanks for your help with this. If you have any other questions please call.